And on a totally unrelated note... Women in the north of the U.K. DO NOT WAX THEIR VAGINIAS!!!! I plucked up the courage to book a wax many miles away from my usual beauty therapist. She was horrified when I started taking off my knickers and basically refused to do the more intimate bits saying 'it's not London here you know'. She stopped part way through to BLOW HER NOSE, and then went straight back to it without washing her hands. There was nowhere even for me to wash my hands after I applied the cream at the end of the wax. What I ended up with was barely even the bikini line done, let alone the Brazilian I'd asked for. Apparently most places round here will only do the same, so by the time I get back to civilization to see my bf I'm gonna look like whatever the female equivalent of Tarzan was called.
I'm now sitting in a cafe which looked like it was the only place that made stuff with vegetables within a ten-mile radius of the city centre, eating what apparently is lentil soup although it has been put through a blender and turned into baby food so you can't even tell where the lentils would have been. The man on the table next to me has blown his nose repeatedly and gone back to eating his sandwich using the same tissue to hold it that he blew his nose with.