To change your life by definition you must also be changing yourself. Unless you luck out, in which case you'll screw it up again in time.
If you are what you make yourself out to be then you know how easily the patterns of others behavior can be directed. And therefore that they are just reinforced patterns... there's no concrete basis for who they are. So of course they can be changed or change themselves.
What you say is only true in a way because people don't want to change themselves, they are too attached to the illusions of who they are. They choose to value such false comforts over their potential for freedom.
Just because most people will never do it, will never even be able to truly consider doing it. Doesn't mean it wasn't always within their grasp if they so wished.
edit: kind of proved your point trying to give myself narc supply from wishy washy insight and you trying to limit people ha ha.
No more!