Sociopath Community

Yes well exactly.

1) when someone asks you a question, you start talking, and they suddenly, mid sentence, just turn away to talk to someone else.  Makes me want to punch their teeth in.  This doesn't happen very often, since I am quite intense and people generally listen to me, but when it happens, omfg.  I don't know how to handle this with dignity.

2) when she is trying to get between me and my flirt (mind you I am not making a move on him, but we are still flirting and she should just stay away).  In front of me, she will give him lots of attention, and I want so  much to put a stop to it, but I don't know how.  This generally doesn't happen either, usually other women just stay back or are not as interesting as I am. 

3) another one of my colleagues calls me out on my behaviour, like she thinks she has figured everything out and knows exactly how everything should work.  It annoys me as well, when she says stuff like "you should not say it like that, you should say this instead" or "you have totally misunderstood this social situation, it works like this blah blah blah"  She thinks she instills shame in me, and maybe so, but it manifests as anger and violent fantasies about just removing these two people from my workplace.

I guess this sounds like I am socially awkward, but I am not.  I know exactly what to do in most situations, since I've studied both myself and my surroundings for as long as I can remember.  It's just when dealing with "strong" women when it goes south for me.  I am aware of their manipulations, I can see it clearly, but I have no clue on how to handle it to "win" and shut them up, so I just shut up myself.

They are able to get away with that because (as you are well aware), you don't know what to do. The only thing you can do is develop your social skills and defend yourself, without looking like a spazz in the process. Having friends to discuss these irritations you're experiencing can be helpful, and maybe they can even give you some constructive advice. Feel free to talk about what's going on here, if you would like.

"Do they resume the conversation afterwards?"

Usually not, unless I remind them they asked me a question and I took the time to start answering.  I usually make it like a subtle reminder that they have misbehaved, but maybe I shouldn't be subtle.

"Are you casual with this guy...like casual enough to meet up for lunch or something?"

We all go to lunch every now and then.

Regarding the behaviour correction, I just blow it off by saying "I understand, thanks for your perspective."  If she insists I jokingly tell her that she seems alone in her universe.

"1) when someone asks you a question, you start talking, and they suddenly, mid sentence, just turn away to talk to someone else. Makes me want to punch their teeth in. This doesn't happen very often, since I am quite intense and people generally listen to me, but when it happens, omfg. I don't know how to handle this with dignity."

Do they resume the conversation afterwards?

2) when she is trying to get between me and my flirt (mind you I am not making a move on him, but we are still flirting and she should just stay away). In front of me, she will give him lots of attention, and I want so much to put a stop to it, but I don't know how. This generally doesn't happen either, usually other women just stay back or are not as interesting as I am.

Are you casual with this guy...like casual enough to meet up for lunch or something?

3) another one of my colleagues calls me out on my behaviour, like she thinks she has figured everything out and knows exactly how everything should work. It annoys me as well, when she says stuff like "you should not say it like that, you should say this instead" or "you have totally misunderstood this social situation, it works like this blah blah blah" She thinks she instills shame in me, and maybe so, but it manifests as anger and violent fantasies about just removing these two people from my workplace.

I don't know your personality, so how you handle that has a lot to do with how you normally act. But if someone were trying to correct me all the time, I would be really sarcastic and annoying.

"Oh, I was supposed to do this? I'm sorry, it wasn't made very clear to me, or I must have missed some part of what you said, could you elaborate more on what you mean by that?...Wait, so I was supposed to do this? I don't get it though, how do you know that's the right thing to do...? I'm sorry, hold on a minute, I'm SO parched and I need to go get some water, I'll be right back!

Sorry for the wait, what were you talking about again? Something about what I should not have said, right? I'm pretty sure I should have done that. Are you sure you're right about this?"

Actually, it sounds like you've got things pretty under control. Where's all the anger coming from?

It sounds like she is more of a spectacle than anything. "Look at that delusional bitch go."

Workbitch, I like it.

I guess my problem is about ranking, when ppl just don't get that they rank lower than I do.

Then again, just reacting to a challenge is sort of acknowledging that they are a threat, so I am going to train myself in not reacting anymore.

I just don't get why it doesn't stop.  I want the challenges to just stop, and I don't know how to make it stop.

One way of making it stop is to stop being annoyed by the challenges, and maybe this is what I need to do, to just honestly not care about the childish manipulation tactics which they are probably not even aware of themselves.  THere seems to be not so much insight in the behaviour, one of them had taken a personality test and told me she was amazed to see that she is more of a power hungry control and rules person than the warm and heartfelt lady she thought she was.  I could have told her that for free, without her having to take tests.  She is a backstabber, trying to get underneath the skin of other people, and then she reuses the information to put herself in a leading position.  She talks about others, gets into drama and conflict by doing "what's right", forcing others to comply by using authority.  I guess it's the authority play that gets to me.  she is just another person, she has no power, but she thinks she does.

But, as I am writing this, I see that the only way I can make this stop is to stop caring about it myself.  I can react as I would to a three-yr-old's tantrums.

She may start to do a lot more just to provoke you to action.

I don't think she's "aware" and instead just acting without real intention.  If she was aware of her surrounding she would not make stupid bullshit mistakes such as provoking unofficial leaders as the very first thing she does when she starts a new assignment in a team, she would not openly challenge the other (much more experienced and devious compared to me, I love him) workplace sociopath.  THen again he was to the point where he put his fist to the table and slammed doors when she tried to control him and make him do what she told him to, haha, that was funny as hell.

She smiles and stabs, and thinks she will get her way as long as she openly confronts and "tells it like it is".