If you follow my teachings, you won't gain weight. We will work it off.
by SystematicMaking Your Own Religion
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Okay, so why the fuck would I want to create a religion? Religion sucks, gods are stupid, worship is boring. But let's just assume for the sake of discussion that I do want to carry out this retarded idea.
If I had to create a religion, it would be called Church of teh Lulz. My followers would worship ANONYMOUS GENIUS as their one and only god. Each day, they would approach the altar bearing gifts of mudkipz and admin passwords. "O ANONYMOUS GENIUS!!", they would cry, while holding their gifts aloft. "Accept these gifts, from a devotee to a god, so that you may go forth and wreak havoc upon the internets like a boss!!" And ANONYMOUS GENIUS would thunder back, "O Devotees, your passion for teh Lulz is legendary! I accept these gifts that you have so graciously bestowed upon me. Now everyone have some Cheetos!!" And many Cheetos would indeed be had by all.
"If you could make a religion what would it be?"
If that ever happened it'd likely be because I went nuts (meaning I'd be capable of believing my own bullshit). As such I'd imagine it devolving into some sort of masochistic death cult built around antagonizing others into action to improve it's own standing, a cult built around notions like a PR friendly "Suicide by Cop" to push it to it's potential extreme before going out in a blaze of self-afflicted glory. The notion of terrorists that self sacrifice by making others out to be the antagonists through "example" would make for some interesting ripples compared to being the more obvious direct culprits.
As one who is not always comfortable with leading, I'd make myself out to be some sort of example others could choose to follow on their own. Like Project Mayhem's motto, "You decide your own level of involvement". Active resistance shows their followers to be zealots, extremists if pushed to that point, their pushy approach alienating people from their own cause. Passive resistance only works when the opposition oversteps their boundaries for them, so I figure why not combine the two into antagonizing the results of passive resistance actively? It lets you not give the targets a choice and thrive from the mistakes they made in lacking said choice.