Isn't there a difference between hypomania and mania?
I personally find it enjoyable just because of the fact that I don't feel depressed for that period of time. I think the fact that I'm starting to recognize that hypomania may or may not be a part of my life is the scary part. It's sort of like being naturally drugged for a couple years on and off and not even knowing. For example, when ever i do take drugs, there's always this sort of anxiety, reminding me this is either going to be one of the greatest or worst times of my life.
With those thoughts, it can definitely lead to a negative outcome. But when I'm unaware that I'm experiencing hypomania and just feel this natural high for no reason, it's great because there's little room for negativity to cloud your mind. But now that I expect it coming sometimes, like my heart starts racing, lights become a little brighter and weirder to look at and my mind just races from topic to topic about everything I could possibly think about within an hour or so.
But when it comes to satellites and brains, yeah there a lot different. Bad analogy to use lol.
Some of those things I've mentioned in this post already, so just read over it all if you haven't already. Whenever I'm in a good mood though, I can talk for a long time about lot's of things, but I'm rarely in a good mood. I tend to get distracted pretty easily, but that's because my mac and flat screen are right next to each other. last week when I did feel happy for like the first time in six months I got lot's of work done on music with really great results.
I did happen to spend four thousand dollars on my grandpas credit card without him knowing. I did end up telling him though, but there were no consequences. I also stole 200 dollars from him and spent it all on drugs. I told him about that too, and he gave me 200 more dollars to buy clothes with, win win situation lol.
I might not be bipolar though, and just experiencing extreme amounts of positivity just because I'm used to being so depressed all the time. If that's the case, I might have a way to beat my depression.
Also this is what it sounds like when I'm in a depressive state: http://soundcloud.com/3xp-ress/01-the-bad-guy-original-mix
and when I'm in more of a hypomanic state: http://soundcloud.com/3xp-ress/heaven-original-mix
From the Mayo Clinic website:
- Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
- Decreased need for sleep (for example, you feel rested after only three hours of sleep)
- Unusual talkativeness
- Racing thoughts
- Distractibility
- Increased goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or agitation
- Doing things that are unusual and that have a high potential for painful consequences — for example, unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions or foolish business investments
I have to say that I've been hypomanic for a few months, maybe due to another medication I'm taking but I'm milking this boost while it lasts, getting more work done, exercising, etc. Aside from that, I am feeling like I can't sleep and I'm eating too much, definitely shopping too much, so I need to balance that with positive traits.... I used to just stay away from malls to avoid shopping but now there's amazon... what to do?!?
