So it's not really about her then, is it?
I have more of a caretaker / loving daddy complex. I first transform those ones I deem worthy into my puppets then slowly get into a role where I take care of their emotional needs / make them happy / lead them, give them advice, and take decision for them. A small circle with no new niggas tho
Taking some time to meditate and reflect on some life choices resurfaced this old concept. All throughout my life I've felt the need to lead and advise those closest to me. Sometimes going through drastic measures to make sure they're just content, I don't think there is something I wouldn't do on impulse if they were threatened. Outside of the circle I'm seen as deceptive, shady and uncaring. Inside I've been described as blindly loyal, generous and over protective to the point of controlling(an issue I've resolved).
How about you. What group of people would you defend(if any) and more importantly why?
"I prefer to vicariously live through their strength instead of keep it all to myself, as to do otherwise would stunt their growth. Having them become stronger is a lot less pressure on me, and the sort of dynamic that follows is comfier than being "in charge". When mistakes are made on their own I don't have to feel as responsible for them."
I want them stronger in their affairs with others but I want them dependent on me. Like an overseer that dictates and beneficially effects most aspects in her life. I dont want to force them to give it too me, it has to be through genuine trust and Im more than able to demonstrate my strengths to reinforce the point with her. I strive to be the best, having her on my shoulder wouldnt slow me down and I want her to see as well as take comfort in that.
Systematic: "How about you. What group of people would you defend(if any) and more importantly why?"
I try to resist defending anyone. Anyone I defend won't become as strong as they'd become solving it on their own, plus it's none of my business. Still, sometimes when I see people who don't have it coming, or when I see their loss as a potential loss of my own, I'll step in against my own self-nagging of the logic of the contrary.
I want to see people become strong. Helping people too much or solving their problems for them keeps them weak and deprives them of wisdom, so I prefer to harshly let them see things for themselves while I do no more than a small push.
AlmightyJim: "I first transform those ones I deem worthy into my puppets then slowly get into a role where I take care of their emotional needs / make them happy / lead them, give them advice, and take decision for them."
Ugh, this used to be how I operated, except mine was closer to obsession and social self defense instead of power. I did the whole "henchmen" thing until I realized how alone it really made me feel and how much it kept them weaker. These days I prefer to openly state my motivations so that a dependance doesn't form, doing it more for them than myself since I matter less to me now than I did back then.
Systematic: "On the other bit the feeling does change towards anyone I'm intimate with. Like you said loving daddy."
I prefer to vicariously live through their strength instead of keep it all to myself, as to do otherwise would stunt their growth. Having them become stronger is a lot less pressure on me, and the sort of dynamic that follows is comfier than being "in charge". When mistakes are made on their own I don't have to feel as responsible for them.
Yeah, I can understand you on that one. I really went out of the way for one of my friends even though he really is incompetent. Attempted suicide over an internet relationship breakup. If it had been anyone else I would've encouraged him and even egged it on a bit for fun. But I found myself working out a schedule with another friend, staying on watch with him to try and convince him otherwise. Monitoring his mental health, arranging meet ups with other women and overall just counseling him for almost half a year. I set his emo ass up with some edgy girl who likes video games and now he's all good.
On the other bit the feeling does change towards anyone I'm intimate with. Like you said loving daddy.
"However, I don't assume control to act on malevolence. It's always to better the person or at least help them past their current situations."
So are they actually becoming better, or are you just making problems in their lives go away? If you're aiming to have them become dependent on you then they aren't really improving themselves, they're becoming domesticated.
by DaddyThe level of precision that you have on molding yourself after me is impressive. It's as though you're one of the women I've used and left. But really though, couldn't you have found a less hideous figurehead? The dude in your pic looks like a tard with a chewed up face.
It's not his fault he has fetal alcohol syndrome!
I agree with turncoat. You need to let others grow on their own. How else will they learn to cope? What you speak of is codependent thinking. It's rather arrogant of you to also take up the idea that you have already reached such a high level of growth, that your ways and decision making abilities are superior to those you mean to protect. It's grandiose and it's self deception. You are saying in your actions: I am a stronger, better, more intelligent person than you, and so you will not be able to function without me.
To be honest, I think it's more disturbing and controlling, than it is heroic or protective, and I won't do that to anyone. I have my own path to find. It would be wise to learn that you don't know as much as you think you know.