Everything dies. Why is how that happens a thing? If you are eaten by a shark while swimming in the ocean or I shoot you in the head for being stupid in my presence is there a difference? I bet the shark didn't think you were so bright either.
I'm a CG artist. Or digital animator. It has a few names I'm experienced in modeling, rigging, texturing, rendering and compositing, I consider myself a 3D generalist. I'm a self taught engineer and musician, but that's just a hobby, though I think one day my engineering will change the world.
I never read all of what you wrote, I know your a Father of two. What do you do ?
I do digital visual arts, and I'm one of those conspiracy nuts who shamelessly shares my beliefs when asked about it. I'm a man with full emotion striving to master them, often I have to cope with chronic depression which at times I find easier to deal with by practicing methods of detachment, in turn I grow kinda bored, and lately I feel and express less consideration for people while I try to maintain my position with them by explaining what is happening to me. Excuse the no paragraphs, I can't do spacing on my device without messing up the post.
There has only been a few people I really wanted to kill, and oddly they did not pose any threat to me. One was just a worthy opponent (in my head), the other one I felt was a symbol of stupidity crossed with some power.
Both lived. The one more at risk of dying was the latter one (the first one was transformed into a similar character in one of my novels and then killed off that way), but tell it as it is, I had doubts I would get away with it.
After that I have sort of been looking for a candidate, a friend got beaten up a lot by a parental figure as a child and he wanted to get even. I told him pretty good and easy ways we could take care of him, my friend was first very interested, then he backed off. I had no personal gain in that matter, on the surface I wanted to help my friend, but deep down I just wanted to have some fun.
Since then I have a homegrown moral system and I no longer feel that I should do these things. I ray of light came to me. ;)
Now there's this business with the boss, but I just want her hurt enough to quit, not die. Although I can indeed feel parts of my old me bubbling up some.