I told you, I took it as a challenge. I am very competitive and set playful goals like this and try to reach them all the time. It was painfully obvious Helena was Selena, and her repeated denial coupled with accusations that I was paranoid and delusional frustrated me enough to try to catch her, that's all. She's not stupid and there was some satisfaction in outsmarting her.
"How much time do you think it took ffs."
It feels like it was on and off over the course of a year. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong.
"Why is that harder to understand than other shit people here do?"
Because your motives tend to make more sense, or at least feel more realistic, than two dimensional puppet antics.
How much time do you think it took ffs. There was talk about her fiance and I remembered she talked about her fiance on the old forum, so I thought I'd lay her a quick trap. I got some entertainment from it, finding a way to outsmart her. Why is that harder to understand than other shit people here do?
It really feels like I put more effort and thought in the post I just wrote in Syst's philosophical thread, than in this Helena thing. Some of you are blowing it out of proportion. TLW was a good example of me going too far, some long ass debates with Tony were maybe going too far. My interest in unmasking Helena was a side one to me, sparked from time to time as I kept seeing her posts, until I decided to do something about it. At which point I took about 15 minutes and got what I wanted.
i never meant to humiliate you. listen carefully sweetie, i'm gonna make this nice and simple. you claimed to beat your father. i asked why. you failed to answer and then outright denied. then you asked me for proof that you ever said that and i posted your quote, your response to which was 'i don't even write in that style of prose mate', so then i gave you the link to your post and you started speaking in tongues or something lol. no amount of essays will ever detract from those things. and you still would rather write pages of crap than address it. LOL, were you lying or not?
also, instead of looking at how long edvard and i were 'obsessed' with you, try looking at it in terms of how long you've avoided confronting the issue.
Oh. Sugar: I can hear you shrieking. We all can.
You're obsessed with me, but even I'm not so narcissistic as to believe that it's because I'm anything special because, as I've just pointed out, I am a faceless internet user who's too lazy to even pick an avatar
for herself. I could be lying my ass off about everything I've claimed to be and more.
No, you're obsessed with me for the same reason that you can't stand to be around certain other women. In real life there's nothing you can do to humiliate them and thus relieve yourself of your own self-shame, so you thought you'd get back at every single one of them by humiliating me (on an anonymous internet forum. I'd just like that put out there once again). I can hear your shrieks, Sugar, and I like them. I've been hearing shrieks like that since I was fourteen. They are not the battle cries you perceive of them, though. I could write symphonies with your shrieks in my head (actually, I could: I was playing the piano by the age of two. Remember that, Sugar? How I told everyone I could play the piano by the time I was two? Remember?). Lemme tell you a little about those shrieks, Sugar: together they comprise the biggest fucking power trip you can give someone who's already pretty damned narcissistic. And if I were in someway injured, physically or psychologically, by my father, you've gone one step further and made me into a hero. If I'm lying about the shit I've accomplished, imagine how big my story's going to be if I add child abuse to it. You've been screeching about deflection so often that you've failed to account for three things:
1. I have not knowingly deflected anything, though I have probably neglected to answer one of your nagging questions here and there because I do not frequent the forum as often as you do and I therefore do not see every single post in which I am someway referred to (that's another obsession that's unique to you and just a few others here);
2. I could be lying about everything I claim to be (do I really have to say this three times before you click to that? Cos that point is pretty damned important and it's little wonder that other posters are getting sick of seeing it written here);
3. If your goals here are ever achieved, they will bring you no fulfillment. Stay with me here because I'm about to tell you why.
Sugar, you're not shrieking at Helena, anonymous SW user who might actually be called Selena or some shit. You're shrieking at every woman who's ever made you feel like the worthless, flabby, ignorant sack of filth you are, dating right back to your momma and up to the cashier at Forever 21 who knows you can't even afford to buy any of the chiffon you're sifting through even if they actually stocked it in your size. Edvard's attempts at damage control have trounced yours: he's stated that his is a competitive nature and that he enjoys unmasks and reveals (he even made sure we know he's not a sadist by chucking in a bit about some of the reveals being brutal, which they actually were in some cases). You've done nothing to explain your fourteen-month obsession. At least Edvard did, and his reasons could be believable.
You haven't supplied any explanations for your obsessions, because you can't. You have none. They're not explainable because obsessions seldom are.
Seek therapy, sweet thang. I think you lost sight of your goals here a long time ago but even if you managed to see them through, your relief would be short lived. Even if you "won" today, your victory would be tainted the next time you left the house and saw a woman wearing a nicer outfit than you or driving a better car.