We're born with the condition and then our environment helps shape the way we deal with it.
I was raised in one of the worst ways possible. Typical abusive parents, no love, shit like that.
What's really weird is i'm a good looking, small looking kinda guy. Think Zac efrons and justin biebers, so people assume i'm a nice person...
I'm 25 and it's starting to make my life miserable. I constantly get parking fines and other fines for disobeying the law. I have a record so it's harder to get work.
I've disowned my family and sent some of my friends incredibly horrible death threats (I won a writing award so i'm very descriptive). I don't do anything at work, but have twisted everything around so that I can't be fired. I can't hold a relationship because I get bored and abusive and that kinda thing. I hate that i'm in it for something, and not just the love.
Truth is it all makes me really miserable. I wish I had control over my self. I wish I could be a normal person that cares for others.v I can't even make friends because if they don't have something to provide or I lose interest, I completely drop them without remorse and don't actually about them at all. There's nothing to cling to in life because there's nothing that has meaning. It's all just things to use and take advantage of, and being the opposite doesn't release any feelings of satisfaction.
I'm kinda lost to what my purpose is. What should somebody like me do with life? What do you do with yourselves?
There's one thing that I sorta fantasize about, and that's being with a woman who is the same way and being partners in crime or something. But dunno. Other than that I just feel kinda empty.