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I don't like being one


Posts: 5

We're born with the condition and then our environment helps shape the way we deal with it.

I was raised in one of the worst ways possible. Typical abusive parents, no love, shit like that.

What's really weird is i'm a good looking, small looking kinda guy. Think Zac efrons and justin biebers, so people assume i'm a nice person...

I'm 25 and it's starting to make my life miserable. I constantly get parking fines and other fines for disobeying the law. I have a record so it's harder to get work.

I've disowned my family and sent some of my friends incredibly horrible death threats (I won a writing award so i'm very descriptive). I don't do anything at work, but have twisted everything around so that I can't be fired. I can't hold a relationship because I get bored and abusive and that kinda thing. I hate that i'm in it for something, and not just the love.

Truth is it all makes me really miserable. I wish I had control over my self. I wish I could be a normal person that cares for others.v I can't even make friends because if they don't have something to provide or I lose interest, I completely drop them without remorse and don't actually about them at all. There's nothing to cling to in life because there's nothing that has meaning. It's all just things to use and take advantage of, and being the opposite doesn't release any feelings of satisfaction.

I'm kinda lost to what my purpose is. What should somebody like me do with life? What do you do with yourselves? 

There's one thing that I sorta fantasize about, and that's being with a woman who is the same way and being partners in crime or something.  But dunno. Other than that I just feel kinda empty.

 

Posts: 5
I don't like being one

A very rational and objective response. Kind woke me up out of my momentary lapse into disappointment in myself.

"Make the best of it, everyone has problems" indeed.

I've never heard of the anti-nihilist before, but i'm unfortunately a misanthropist brought on by my studies in sociology and genetics. I understand humanity to the tee, and it disgusts me. Everyone's a sinner, whether they be sexist, racist, misogynistic etc. Greed fuels most action. I find the line between us and them is very thin when you really look at it all. The only real difference is that they feel 'guilt' and hesitate to incite the emotion of guilt, so it prevents them from acting out more. They're also less individualistic and worried about what others think of them so they obey the laws governing their lives.

Maybe it's just guilt that I wish I had.

But then I think back to the anti-nihilist mentality. Science has proven that giving makes you happier. 

As you can tell, i'm really new to all of this and am coming to terms with my reality and self.

Posts: 658
I don't like being one

why do you care how you are gonna die?

 

anyway, you are gonna have to discipline yourself, there is no other way.

Posts: 658
I don't like being one

i don't understand why this makes you miserable, if you don't have guilt?

Posts: 10218
I don't like being one

"I wish I had control over my self."
The only "lack of control" I really see displayed here is: "I constantly get parking fines and other fines for disobeying the law."

"I can't even make friends because if they don't have something to provide or I lose interest"
So... what's the problem then? If you're lonely, they provide company. Bam, motivation right there.

"There's nothing to cling to in life because there's nothing that has meaning."
You could always try becoming one of these.

"I'm kinda lost to what my purpose is."
Would your purpose have meaning?

"What should somebody like me do with life? What do you do with yourselves?"
Make the best of it, everyone has problems.

Posts: 5
I don't like being one

It's fear, rather than guilt. Fear of the repercussions of my actions, fear of potential escalation of my behaviours into something worse. Fear of dying alone.

Posts: 1351
I don't like being one

Oh I see... so you think when a man and a women get together they all of a sudden become crusaders of God, and devote their lives to law and justice?

Maybe if they are a judge and a crown attorney.

You are 25... what is your fucking problem?

 

by Easthetics

I'm kinda lost to what my purpose is. What should somebody like me do with life? What do you do with yourselves? 

There is no purpose other than to live and enjoy life. 

Sometimes I go to the expensive super market, and look at the grapes that cost 10.00 for 2 pounds.

Then I smile thinking that there is some 300lb overweight, overstressed, and sickly ill guy working around the clock to pay off overpriced grapes.

 

 

Posts: 5
I don't like being one

No, I want a socipathic girlfriend who I can be myself with and commit crimes with.

Posts: 1351
I don't like being one

Everybody dies alone.

I met this guy last year who had recently been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. 

Within two months his wife left him, and within 6 he died.

Posts: 437
I don't like being one

Lots of times, it's kinda embarrassing. 

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