I can relate some to what you have to say here. The process becomes even more blurred for me as I try to accept the possibilities and probabilities I in fact may not be thinking clearly and very well could be deluded. For instance, you said this
"She has been told what I like and what I do not like, yet she forces her habbits on me as if I'll eventually adopt them."
What differentiates your preferences from her habits? You say you are all about this woman but you are not about all of her. You say she is trying to change you but you are just as guilty of trying to change her.
Don't get me wrong. I see your point. She should change. You are only trying to get her to see what is best for her. Because you DO know what's best. You're not a fucking idiot. You have smarts. You do research and have the abilty to objectively weigh facts. Facts are facts... right? But at the end of the day... it's her fucking life man. Get it?
Never said I was all about her. Her life and mine is in the picture too. But yes, her life. She only really comes around to prevent me from dating. I don't care all that much about it. It's not all on her either.
The thing is, I'm so conscious of the ego, I'm seeing how tremendus peoples ego's are. The things they worry about, and how they respond. People overact way too much and lose thier cool, and normally it's not nessary to carry on like that over small things.
People make me sigh, or recline with curled fingers between my closed eyes. Sometimes I'm alone. We are always on our own but I sometimes feel like my consciousness takes me to unexplored territories. It hasn't always been like this. I hate to say it, but I know how to think little of others quite well, and what's disturbing is, people are not so easily replaced, while I'm no longer all that interested in what seems to be 99% of what they say. Feels like I'm having issues. Like I've moved on from the human race or something. Probably has to do with spending too much time here.
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My dear forum of crazy people. In my opinion most of what there is to read in the forum these days is so uninteresting, and so many here are hopeless. While it was this place that carried me for the past year, keeping me amused. I feel the same about life at the moment. At this rate one wouldn't live long.