Message Turncoat in a DM to get moderator attention

Users Online(? lurkers):
10 / 25 posts

Picking Scabs


Posts: 1892

Lately I have tried to break my “self” down as much as possible. Everything I say or do... why? What is the purpose in why I act the way I do and then in many case the more important question is asked, how is I do what I do. How do I think the way I think? My narcissistic traits and tendencies haven’t really diminished. I still see myself as better than everyone else and my “fuck-ups” as awesome demonstrations from which others can learn. I justify nearly everything... internally. See, “outwardly” I have being taking an exasperating amount of time to be just the opposite.

 

In the company of others I have made the effort to appear humble, meek, small; but inside I am screaming. I can honestly say everyone... EVERYONE I have come into contact with over the past year has been a drain on my existence, and hardly worth my time. My narcissism is still there. And now I see the narcissism in others even more, and their blind spots they cannot see.

 

This bothers me, the narcissism in me. It bothers me because I know the hidden dangers of the narcissist’s views, you CANNOT see when you are actually BEING wrong. Even experiencing a bit of introspection for someone with seriously narcissistic issues becomes such a “grand” thing any grounds gained through introspection can be quickly lost. And then any losses get rapidly “justified” and the cesspool of narcissistic thinking begins its snowball effect again. “I was great to start with and I am even greater because of my failures.” This is crazy thinking.

 

Not sure where all this is going. I think that is why I wrote this down, hoping maybe someone out there can help me put these thoughts in some order... or to better understand what self-discovery might mean for an narcissistic anti-social.

Posts: 893
Picking Scabs

well the "average" (american average - a nation of obesity and scrawny bitches) isn't saying anything impressive. And you're welcome... I just concider it my duty to take care of my lessers... as it should be for us all...

Posts: 893
Picking Scabs

Have you stopped working out as much?

How is your sleep?

Are you eating healthy?

Do you wake up with erections less often?

How's your sex life?

Posts: 893
Picking Scabs

how old are you?

I ask because all of these things are related to low testosterone, something you can increase naturally through certain lifestyle changes.

Posts: 1892
Picking Scabs

I knew where you were going... and you know how old I am.  That is a possiblility, and it was considered.  Test were done.  All labs came back normal... some better than the average bear for a man younger than myself even.  Thank you for caring though.  You softie;-)

Posts: 1892
Picking Scabs

Actually I am working out more.

Sleep is hit or miss as always...

I eat fast food about twice a week, besides that it's low fat diet with moderate sugar intake (been that way for years now)

Erections, eh... depends on how much sex having.

And the sex life is rather active... several times a week with a partner and I am not afraid to take care of business for myself.

Posts: 2216
Picking Scabs

That reminds me of myself lastnight. I was getting irratated with people to a point where I felt like I wanted to explode.

She has been told what I like and what I do not like, yet she forces her habbits on me as if I'll eventually adopt them.

In turn I become even more disgusted with the things I dislike in people, and I end up having to explain myself for the sake of unvieling what is happening to me, in doing so I end up on a roll with addressing issues. Being self conscious of the ego, I know I'm being narcissistic at that time, but I really do feel like I'm in the right, and I don't just say things, I confirm them with who I'm dealing with at that very moment. They slow down to think, and conclude that I have a point, but then that vision slips away and I see their ego kick in with a little more drama than called for. It's at that time, Tom, we are prone to making mistakes, cause while we address something else, they will slip in something that is valid, and the first thing we might do is jump on it and break it down. They can confirm that we were wrong that time, and it's easy to see we were. That is when everything else that has been addressed goes out the window.

Posts: 1892
Picking Scabs

Then by all means... get to your duties MAN!!!  Go take care "dem lessers"... 

I promise not to bite you when or if we should ever meet;-)

 

EDIT: Actually, how would you like to be prepared if you were going to be the main course?

Posts: 48
Picking Scabs

Lol, it did sound quite homosexual, in J's defense.

 

Being a narccisist must suck.

Posts: 1892
Picking Scabs

Right... try to twist this to some sort of homosexual type deal as if that might make me stir away OR make you seem somewhat ABOVE me.  Seriously, if someone were to kill you for being such an over bearing asshole and decide to eat you afterwards... how ould you want to be prepared?  Do you care?  I would think I would have to see your actual size, stature, and body fat content before I made a good choice.

"Gay" is gay these days by the way.

10 / 25 posts
This site contains NSFW material. To view and use this site, you must be 18+ years of age.