Sociopath Community

Weakening? Maybe. 

I process holistically.

So while I'm having sex, my mind is adding up my household bills, remembering hot scenes from movies, going back over the last 10 or so really good partners I had, rehearsing how the fuck I'm going to leave afterward without being rude. I'm also distracted by my stupid garters, wishing I'd got the sticky kind, hoping he doesn't want it doggie style bc I FUCKING HATE THAT POSITION!! hoping my kid's ok bc he's halfway across town with my miserable sister who can absolutely not under any circumstances know that I'm having sex. Ever. Thinking about the last book I read and the last song I listened to before I came over.

Sometimes I'll visualize dreamscapes that are purely imagined.

And all this goes through my head in under 10 seconds. Forcing myself to focus on bottom-up reasoning is what gives me a headache. It's like trying to use a boomerang as a spear.

So yeah, hyperfocussing on somebody else's sexual fantasy is like work. I don't do it for just anybody. Again, it's easier to shut all that thought-babble off if I just shut it ALL off and focus on the sensation.

*caps are for emphasis. Bold and italics aren't working for some reason.

There isn't much anymore.

I did all that stuff when I was young. Mind games and drama don't appeal to me much now. I'm a feeler, remember? Too much mental shit leaves me tired and headachey, especially if there's no point.

I'll see it through if there's a point, but it's too much like work for me. Thinking is for school or work that I'm getting paid for. I like mindless stimulation to get off. The costumes and roleplaying are just window dressing for my partner's amusement.

Really. That stuff doesn't add much to the experience for me. It's like tapdancing for a hotdog. lol. Why would I if I can just reach into the fridge?

Strange that you would see a desire to not waste my strength on frivolities like sex as a weakness. I thought you were more flexible than that.

 Money is worth working for. My kids are worth working for. Learning another language, a satisfying mission to build homes for flood victims, studying to build a career is worth working for.

Sex just isn't that important to me. Especially since mindblowing orgasms come easy to me.

You're wired how you're wired and you need all that stuff to get the sensory experience. It's good that you've turned it into a positive instead of a curse.

But we're not all you. I cum hard and long and hit multiple orgasms with minimal stimulation.

If anything, overthinking it lessens the experience. Like I said, it's like being asked to sing and dance for my meal. I only bother if my partner's special enough to deserve the entertainment. And it certainly doesn't make my food taste any better.

*I can make my partner hurt without forcing my anger out, tho.