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The Sociopath Woman Next Door


Posts: 5426

I'll try to make this brief.

I'm positive she is a sociopath. It was a friend zone relationship for me that I would avoid, due to her "you are like a brother to me" messages, but I would spend time with her whenever she called or came over, we went out to do stuff etc.

Regardless of my aloofness I did have a rather large place for her in my heart. I've always taken her for one who would send out a lot of mixed signals, so on the most part I would never know what to do with her. Only toward the end of our (i guess) friendship did we hug. Post date, I never initiated I hug with her because of the mixed signals, so eventually one day she just hugged me. That first hug was a very quick arm grab and she called it a hug. I believe she was shy, she's not pleased with her body cause she lacks curves. Me thinking she probably dislikes being touched I never hugged her, but late in our associations she asked for one, and followed with a quick surprise hug another day. I know it sounds lame, but I was still confused as to what she wanted. Maybe I still am but I somehow feel like a failed to make a move when I should have.

She called me to meet her downtown for her birthday. Just her and I. We went to an expensive restaurant ( Guess who covered the bill ) But that day she was looking depressed, she was going on about how she hates her Mother and such. I think i heard her tell me something like "Man up" but how can I when she is in this rarely seen by me, pissy mood.

When we left, she wanted to change out of her tight skirt ( we had bicycles locked up waiting for us ) so she went to change inside a hotel next to us. I ran across the road to avoid the red light, looking back where she stayed she pointed at a hotel on her side where she wanted to borrow a room to change. So I went in after her and waited in the lobby.

After awhile had passed I went outside and her bike was gone. So I sent her an angry text saying how she ditched me. She sent me a text saying "I thought you ditched me, I was so pissed, I'm at ( the so and so shop) I don't want to go home yet." I said to her, "You never saw my bike was still there ? Where's your brain I'm at home and I'm done for the day goodbye"

Now she ignores me. When I saw her the next day ( Cause she literally lives next door ) I said Hi, she kinda said hi then her voice choked up as her head turned toward me, then her face went blank, then she proceeded to go inside. I wrote to her how  we should patch things up, forget what happened and I invited her over for a drink. She wrote me an e-mail saying how she doesn't like me, never liked me, and never will, then told me to cease the harassment or else further action

. . . .

So I caught her in a lie, and she can't debate with me about it cause if she did insist she never saw my bike, then she would have to admit she never cared to look for it which was 7 feet away from her.

She lied to me many times and I just brush it off or played dumb. I did research on silent treatment, and my intrigue got me into reading about all this psychology stuff. At first my amateur Googleing diagnoses of her was that she was a narcissist. But a friend told me to look up sociopath. Perfect.

This sociopath stuff is interesting. I am annoyed by this, but none the less interesting. I believe you ( the sociopath ) are at times honest, and I do not assume you are at fault for being that way, as much as I am not at fault for being as I am. Right now if you please, I'd like your opinion or suggestion as to what the hell might she be up to. Normally I'd just suck it up and move on, but I have to live here, and seeing her is almost like a bad dream I cannot wake from. You'd never understand to this degree, but for those of us that are not sociopath, this is like watching someone you care for die and be reborn before your very eyes, and now it seems they are your mortal enemy.

XX

Posts: 5426
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

Yes Rass, I really never put much into it and I did fail I suppose. To some that is a lot to others no so much.

As mentioned I was aloof with her. I found her mentality to be immature so I only dealt with her if she called. I do more for others, and others grant me more return. This woman is very charming, and for several reasons I never made a move. Mixed signals, calling me a brother, her family is racist and they would disown her.

I was aware she her sister had some mental problem but she never said what it was. I figured she was ok.

She has greed issues and is one sided. Before the final event, she wanted to spend time in my room, I turned her down on that and lucky I did or this would have been a real mess.

Regardless of her condition I love her well. Are sociopaths really that of a mental disorder ? I see there are entanglements when researching this. It's advised to run like hell when we encounter one. Yet, I feel for her in regards to her nature.

On a spiritual level, I believe life is part of our making. Everything we do here will carry on with us. The good and that bad are all part of our making. The spiritual growth. Are a whole, we are making ourselves and in the end all will be forgiven. As terrible as this experience with a sociopath is for me, it does make me stronger and more aware than ever before, so I can only suggest this experience is actually a good one.

I'm still waiting for a reply with actual substance for my inquiry. Though I am pleased with how quick the feedback comes by in this place, so far it has been wasteful.

Posts: 5426
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

Immature yes. It has been said that sociopath can be so as well. In her 30's, she looks young, sometimes she can pass for 19-23. I tried to keep it brief but if you insist on more information, I'll try to make it brief again.

She is extremely secretive. She lies like crazy. The one time she added me to her facebook. I examined her page and everything was censored. No images except some cartoon penguins holding hands, can't remember what was written on it. She doesn't put her image online either, which is fine, but her list and conversations on her wall were censored. I can see her responses but not her friends. Nothing. Then that day she asked me if she can borrow my a calculator for her exam. By the end of the day she deleted me from her list. She called me to tell me I can have my calculator back, I told her to leave it on the front porch as I was kinda upset about the facebook thing. I barged outside and she took off like a fly and ran back into her house.

She called me the next day as though it were nothing. I asked her about it and she blew off the question. The 2nd time I asked her about it she said "You don't need to know my business"

When we talk on the phone, or in general she would cut off what I am saying so long as it's something I'm bringing up, for something she wants to discuss. She did value my opinion on things, and the questions she asked me were a piece of cake to answer. When I think about it probably cause I'd feed her moral answers that would probably be useful for what might have been a promiscuous lifestyle she was planning. It was always about guys or dating.

In the 11 months were were associates, here is what I can conjure up from what I recall

- She is divorced. Her husband is said to have beat her up in this abusive relationship.

- She demonizes her family. ( After talking with her youngest brother, she said no one really likes her. He said it's possible she might be a narcissist after I inquired about it.

- She complains about her workmates all the time. They are all bad.

- She had this flip phone, so texting for her was a pain. I gave her an HTC Dream Smartphone.

- I gave her a pricy Nike hooded sweater

- I gave her a desk.

- Let her use my Wifi when her internet was out of commission or if her brothers kicked her off of theirs. ( It's a big deal cause my roommate watches Netflix so much we had to upgrade our package )

- Took her to restaurants

- On her request I allowed her to come to meet my friends and go party on new years.

- On her request I allowed her to meet my Mother.

- On her request I fulfilled her printing needs. ( At my own expense )

- On her request I went out on walks with her. ( And treated her to food )

- On her request I went on bike rides with her. ( Food again )

- On her request I helped her make decisions the best I can.

- On her  request I gave her advice on guys.

- On her request I participated in her hugs. And we both know I never initiated one ever, thank God. ( The first and last hug she gave me were surprise hugs without my consent. I love surprise hugs but in this case I have to point out it was not in my consent due to her threatening me )

- On her request I lent her my USB stick so she can do her thing.

- On her request I lent her my calculator for her exam ( The day she  added then deleted me from Facebook with no explanation to date. )

- On her request we baked cookies

- On her request I let her come here when she were moody with her family.

- On her request I welcomed her into my home, sometimes directly from where she was coming from. ( Her dysfunctional family is that bad. )

- On her request I came out to celebrate her Birthday one on one. She afterward ditched me after I spent a whack of money trying to please someone who I thought was my friend.

- On her suggestion I was fixing to take her to Niagara Falls, until now

- I saw her spend $600 on clothing, usually she brings most or all of it back.

- She does a lot of volunteer work cause she believes it looks good on her resume.

- The volunteer work she does is with lawyers. So she can mingle with people in a field she is interested in. She has no remorse for the homeless and hungry.

- She is obsessed with Sick Kids Hospital. Her reasoning for this I think is so she might find a doctor husband. That is my guess - On Christmas she came over crying in tears cause her family ditched her. Me, I don't do Christmas I hate it, and she knew. My failure to amuse her had her texting some dude she said was fun. On a side note her brother told me they don't do Christmas either, it was her Father's Birthday that day and she got into a fight with him.

- I have her home and Cell number. I am not to call the cell, only text it. Sure. She spends 100 a year on her cell phone, very practical, but she is that obsessed with saving money.

. . .

The list goes on, and lets see what she ever did for me...

- She bought me a cupcake and delivered it to me.

. . .

Surely me catching her in a game/lie does not warrant writing me off like this.  

Posts: 524
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

Sounds like she has a problem understanding her feelings, rather than being a sociopath.

Posts: 437
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

You're so immature.

Posts: 612
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

Goddamn son, getting tooled and played by a chick like that, especially a shy awkward and clearly damaged one, ffs

Posts: 415
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

She sounds as if she's an anxious and confused person on some levels. The things you say remind me of a friend I had for a several years, very self absorbed but not very sure of herself in her own reality. She rarely did anything nice for anyone, and always needed advice or help with something. She (maybe subconsciously) created little conflicts with her friends and family. I think she enjoyed the grief it caused her family and the reconciliation between her and her friends.

Maybe your neighbor believed there was more to your friendship than intended. Maybe she got embarrassed at the misunderstanding (missed your bike sitting there). I can't say whether I agree she's sociopathic, but I'd agree on narcissism. She sounds dependent and  maladjusted. 

Posts: 2485
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

 

by Edvard

Are sociopaths really that of a mental disorder ?

You don't even know if she's a sociopath or not and you're already trying to judge her as one...

I suggest you drop the label before proceeding any further, as it may bias your view of her.

Why not just view her as an individual instead.

Regarding sociopaths in general... While there are some commonalities among them, no two sociopaths will act the same, as there may be other, co-existing issues affecting the way they behave.

Posts: 2485
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

Wait... you live right next door to each other and yet, you emailed her. Why the fuck would you email her instead of talking to her in person?

As for whether or not she's a sociopath... who cares. Why put a label on her?

If you want to understand her, then actually talk to her. Tell her your concerns about her lying. How she reacts to that will tell you a lot about how she really feels about you.

Posts: 2337
The Sociopath Woman Next Door

This is not your story.

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