i keep getting into relationship type things with the most fucked up girls ever, i dont know you call it abuse or self-harm.
but on the opposite end for example, i became one guys best friend, and after four years of being the best of pals i acted as if we never met, but told most everyone that he was the one acting that way for some bs. he lost all his star power at school and moved out of state lol
This is a quote from me from the "Disorders" thread:
My life before the planning was full of childish, volatile reactions to simple urges and dominant, bully-like behavior. I always had to out-do my friends. If they showed any type of dominance over me, I talked them down to a depression. If one got angry and hit me, I would just take revenge. I'd make them suffer a bit. When I thought they'd been compensated enough for their "betrayal (At least, that's how I saw it then), or when I got caught, I'd stop. For example, once, when I was about 9-10 or so, I got into an argument with a friend (I instigated by talking him down. He was attempting to explain something and I just kept calling him retarded because I knew he couldn't do anything about it). He blew up and came at me, fists flying. If I remember correctly, he caught me across the jaw, but he wasn't really strong enough for it to hurt that much. But the pain wasn't what pissed me off. I grabbed the back of his neck and shoulders and pushed his nose to the ground, practically folding him at the waist a bit further than he should've been folding. I kept pushing while he was screaming for me to stop. I asked if he was done, and if he was going to hit me again. I asked him over and over again, but all I got was "STOP! PLEASE, IT HURTS! [etc.]" So I just kept him down until I heard his parents coming down the stairs (They came down loudly and quickly.) It hit me that the consequences would be bad if they caught me doing this. I figured it would be best if I got off of him and leaned the situation against him, instead. I put it simply, "He hit me and I pushed him to the ground to keep him off of me (I knew I really pushed him down because the thought of him being an aggressor to me was enraging). He could hardly defend himself and spin it off another way because the pain was the only thing he could worry or talk about. The only thing they did was make me go home that night, even though we'd planned to hang out all night at his house. I was able to come over the next day and "make up."
I'm a significantly nicer person now. A least, in an outward way.
this happened when i was about 4
i was in the department store with my mom and i wanted a wind up whale toy
it wuld have swam in the sink or bath tub but she wuld not buy it to me
no matter how much i cried and yelled and howled she wuld not budge
when we got home i prayed to god that he wuld cast the wind up whale through the roof in front of me or failing that at least send a lightning bolt to strike my mom dead- neither happened
thats when i lost my childs faith i was scarred for life
i still dream about that wind up whale toy at times even though i wuldn get the enjoyment out of it now- its too late my life is ruined
I had a business partner hire an actress in an attempt to undermine my sense of authority in the partnership. Wasn't really abuse, but that asshole really wanted me out and he took many weeks/months to make it happen.
It's always the business partners in self destruct mode. one minute they want you working, and the next they want you out. One minute you are pulling profit, and the next you grant a wish and leave the business, and it folds within a few weeks to months. Never fails.
Everyone is always going out of business. Fukin debt slaves. They are the majority of people these days.
When I was 8 I went down the street to an ice cream window. I got a double scoop of mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone!! I skipped home merry as could be, but as I was getting closer to my house there were three 10 yr olds on bicycles coming right for me.
It was horrible! They demanded for me to give them directions to the ice cream shop. I was busy eating my ice cream!!! I didn't want to take the time to stop licking that delicious goodness that eludes me all to often to give these big boys directions. They kept following me and asking me where I got the ice cream. Things were getting brutal, they were getting angrier and angrier, but my ice cream was starting to melt!!! If I stopped eating it now, it would run down the side and get my hands all sticky, so I ate faster.
They started turning up the heat on the bullying now.. They said things like,"PLEASE tell us where you got the ice cream, it's so hot". I would not bow to their will. I do not let bullies run my life, I eat faster with more ferocity. I'm halfway through my second scoop, and there was no danger of sticky fingers happening. All I had was my resolve. "We'll give you a dollar each if you just tell us where to go!! PLEAAAAAASE!!!".
I'm terrified now. If I wait any longer to chomp into the chocolate waffle cone chocolate covering could start to melt and I'd have it all over my face. I hesitate no longer. I take a huge bite that decimates half the cone with one fair swoop. I had made it. No melted chocolate. I'm at my front door now, I have one bite left, I turn and see the three boys now all off their bikes on their knees before me begging, " We really want an ice cream too!! Why won't you tell us?!?!"
I take that last satisfying piece of cone left and shove it into my mouth.
I walk inside.
I had won.
Never let a bully win guys. Never.