by A Creepy Stalker PuppetCan you say words like; you turn me on?
Sure, I say that. Usually I don't need to though because the message is made pretty clear through flirting.
by A Creepy Stalker PuppetAs someone who likes to be the one in control you must have a high position. I would expect you to be running your own company. Are you? What is your career?
Seeing as you've gone to the bother of creating that puppet, one would expect you already knew the answer to that question.
""Control is power."
While the need for control is a weakness.
I don't agree with that. I think we all have a need for control to some degree, over the choices we make and the actions we take.
The need for self-control alone is a strength, not a weakness. At least in some circumstances anyway."
Knowledge is power. Control is an option
"That may have a lot to do with the fact that I was raised in an abusive environment where I didn't feel like I had control. So, being in control means a lot to me."
Does not being in control frighten you?
"Control is power."
While the need for control is a weakness.
"Control is only fear if you're using it to avoid being hurt. I have no fear of being hurt. The risks I've taken have proven that."
But how many of those risks did you define in advance?
"No, it doesn't. I don't desire control because I'm afraid of losing it."
And yet the notion of losing it frightens you, drudging up feelings of being as powerless as you were as a child~
When you can throw yourself into scenarios where you cannot control their variables, then talk about the experience, I'll give it more weight. So far your every proof you've typed out has had you somehow at the helm. From what I can see you're afraid of allowing another to have power, only taking baby steps and compromises towards it at best.
"I desire it because I don't like being 'restrained' by other people's rules and boundaries."
Yes, you'd rather be the one doing the restraining, and likely view their possition as weak. It's funny, what you likely view as their being weak is still them expressing something you'd lack the balls to properly try yourself. In a sense they are just as strong if not stronger than you are~
"Control allows me to make my own choices and do what I want to do."
And it allows you to avoid feeling like a victim. You mentioned how as a kid you didn't really have control, and often were the unemotional victim of things, and yet your need for control as an adult, your aversion to it's opposite, makes the accuracy of that questionable. If you really felt nothing during those times would your desire to get away from it be so strong?
"I think we all have a need for control to some degree, over the choices we make and the actions we take."
"To some degree" is key. It's generally the case, but "all" is a stretch. In the same respect not every person needs control as much as others, or at the very least their means of perceiving "control" may simply be self-defined to get around the lack that's otherwise there (for example OCD).
When someone possesses a need, it drives them, like how hunger and thirst can function. When that need is predictable, suddenly others gain the potential to steer you. When others are steering you, that's them prodding at a weakness to get their own aims. When someone needs power, instead of simply desiring it or wanting it, it's a weakness just as much as any other need, except potentially worse because of the severity's potential origin.
When someone wants something and doesn't have it, it's a shame. When someone needs something and doesn't have it, they suffer. The difference is in how badly they find themselves chasing it. The bodybuilder for example might strive through raw power to gain control of his or her immediate environment, scaring off opposition and the like, but when that becomes a "need" it's no different than the anorexic who "controls" his or her food intake of food to control his or her own self esteem. Even using myself as an example, my need for control has helped push other areas into becoming stronger, but at its core it's a weakness since without it I'm unable to be at peace.
"The need for self-control alone is a strength, not a weakness. At least in some circumstances anyway."
Excessive self-control can stop a person from living life and taking risks (trust me). It's a weakness when the person perceives it as a "need" instead of a good idea. Any need is something that can potentially be used against us, so it's better to carry as few needs as possible.
"I'm not sure what you mean by defining risks. Could you explain that to me."
I'll try anyway.
When you decide to parachute out of a plane, decide to go bungee jumping, decide to request your partner hold a knife to your throat, you are the one making those choices in some form, you are deciding how much risk you face at any given time instead of truly throwing caution to the wind. The risks have less of a sense of mystery, which in turn makes them become more expected. When the risks are expected from your own volition, they become easier to deal with from an illusionary sense of control.
For a comparative example, I'll use myself again. When being cropped repeatedly I begin to expect it, which dulls the sensation, dulls the pain from my capability to brace for impact. When it's more of a gamble, not knowing if I will or won't be hit, not knowing how hard, where, for what purpose, it keeps me on my toes, raises the adrenaline, makes it into something more than if I were overseeing every detail. If I have to outright tell the person to hit me, when to hit me, and where to hit me, I'd be even more over-prepared for it than simply expecting it. Having someone stomp your toes in an obvious fashion you could see in advance will shock you less than stubbing it on accident (save for maybe the rage at someone having the audacity to stomp your toes).
It suggests that your fears are related to that which you cannot see in advance, and your way of comforting is by gaining some means of control over the situation through pre-expectation. If a dom with a pinch of sadism offered you a night of fun, you'd be turning it down not because of your interests, but because you'd be letting go of the sense of control you take so seriously.
From what I can see, you are unable to just let go. You have to be holding onto something in order to allow yourself to do anything. It's like training wheels.
by TurncoatDoes not being in control frighten you?
No, it doesn't. I don't desire control because I'm afraid of losing it. I desire it because I don't like being 'restrained' by other people's rules and boundaries. Control allows me to make my own choices and do what I want to do.
"Control is power."
While the need for control is a weakness.
I don't agree with that. I think we all have a need for control to some degree, over the choices we make and the actions we take.
The need for self-control alone is a strength, not a weakness. At least in some circumstances anyway.
"Control is only fear if you're using it to avoid being hurt. I have no fear of being hurt. The risks I've taken have proven that."
But how many of those risks did you define in advance?
I'm not sure what you mean by defining risks. Could you explain that to me.
