I was always left wanting. The emotion never got to me, I was always hoping for the chance of being devastated by it.
I get where you're coming from, except to me such rare pain is more of a hindsight joy as opposed to one of the moment. I'm also rather out of touch with my emotions, and I'd assume out of myself anyway that such joy would root from the chance for a new experience, the mystery of feeling something so alien, and prior understimulation (maybe respect for why it's there if it earned it's place there). I can only think of a few cases where something actually really hurt.
It could be seen as a symptom of disorder, but by itself I don't think it'd hold water.
Seeking self-destructive behaviors is empty unless you have something at the end that makes it worth facing, as otherwise it's both caustic and self-indulgent. It'll get in the way of other things if you feed it for too long, so at the very least I'd advise delving into such a thing when there's less room for repercussions.
I can't relate.
I've never been an emotional person, but I've always been able to experience some shallow emotions on occasion.
I don't experience happiness or sadness very often and when I do, it lasts only briefly.
The only emotion I feel fairly often is anger, usually in the form of frustration, irritation or annoyance, and even that never lasts.
There are times where I've faked anger. My daughter listens more when I sound angry and is more inclined to do what I want her to do. The problem is, I end up laughing because faking anger always amuses me.
I apparently am detached from my emotions. I have never thought that I don't feel emotions though, because i do. Even if i can't remember it. the subject never really dawned on me before entering adult psychiatric treatment. But all my life have told me my displays are sometimes not appropriate for the situation.
I had brief moments when I was younger I would look at people overjoyed and wondered if they felt some kind of explosion inside that resembled their outward explosive behavior. And when I saw people in great distress I would wonder why they couldn't just get over it (but that's more lack of empathy)
I have never felt like I need to feel more...and I don't do things to feel more generally.
I do display intense but fleeting emotions at times, I can be totally hysterical. In tears and I can't stop but I don't feel like I'm in emotional pain that equals my display. But then it's over and done with in 5 minutes and I can't remember what I was just upset about.
But after entering psychiatric treatment I have come to realize that I do internally roughly feel the same thing all the time with elevations I can't remember
Though I can't explain wanting to feel more. I am quite content with my emotions (except when they are extreme) - it is the people around me that are not. I'm just a schizoid lol
OP do you feel empty? it seems that's what you're describing