by Pink01You're probably terrible in bed
You assume so much about me and all of it negative. What's up with that?
I've actually been told I'm great in bed, but you believe whatever you want. I really don't care.
Believe whatever you want, Sweet Pea. It doesn't bother me.
Face facts: none of your beliefs have ever meant anything to anyone. Isn't that why you're so desperate to get reactions from posters here by posting blind guesses as to their psychological natures? Someone, somewhere out there, has to care about what you think.
No one does. I doubt they ever will. Unless they're pretending to give you the love you so desperately crave. You'd likely accept the most obvious of acts because you'd give anything to feel a taste of love. Anything to forget about that loose black skirt, huh?
check the thread, your post is still there http://sociopath-community.com/topic/2014-04-25/were-you-spanked-as-a-child?quote=88119#88119
Well, this is going absolutely nowhere.
I didn't expect much of a fight from you, but I did expect a bit more than this.
I have an ethics proposal to draft today, and I'm afraid that that is going to have to take precedence over our therapy sessions. I guess I'm going to be yet another person who rejects you for the sake of work. Here's hoping that my work is more important than your father's was (it probably is: you'd likely have turned out to be something more than you are if it had been. I mean, you were never going to be a success, but you'd be something more than an abject failure if you had a decent role model to look up to rather than the bright lights of the refrigerator and the dead eye of the television).
Enjoy your microwaved popcorn (that's what prescription drug addicts munch on when they're stoned and slopped on the couch in front of the TV, right?). If the drugs wear off, you can always waddle down to your local mall and stare at the clothes you'd like to some day wear (spoiler alert: it ain't gonna happen. You're too fat and you're probably never going to be able to afford decent attire).
I'll leave you with this, for now: I see why Pink thought you were a kid. I did, too, at first, and I would have continued thinking that you were a kid unless Wooster had pointed out that you're actually approaching thirty years of age. I also know you tried to reframe that when you begged Pink to tell you why she thought that you were a kid. It's that do-over, isn't it? You can't get it out of your mind. If you could only be young again, you could change things. But you're not, and that's a reality you're going to have to face sooner or later. You're approaching thirty, getting tired, and the clock is ticking for all of life's major events. You'll never be young again except for in the desperation you convey on this board. You sound like a confused teenager. That's why Pink thought that you were a kid - not because you exuberate youth, but because you speak with a lack of the wisdom that most people have gained by your age through education, travel, work and conversation.
I would have been happy if you'd delivered on your promise.
And, like Thrill Kill did so many months ago, you have shrunk away from answering my questions. That was part of the deal. By your logic you should be happy to finally have a listener.
How is it possible that you're cowering beneath a pseudonym and still feel such fear that you must apply yet another level of cowardice to your facade?
by Helena
by Pink01Unfortunately I do not find anything very mystical about science or math but they are what I am good at. Organic was the last chemistry level I took at the undergrad level and was the last chemistry class I was actually good at. At the grad level, I struggled with the chemistry. But I also barely put any effort in and my grades corresponded to my lack of effort lol. I am fascinated more by economics but I do nothing with economics
Yeah I have trouble recognizing emotions, I know I have them but it's a matter of identifying them but I don't say flat out I don't feel this way or that way...I just say I don't know.
The fact that you were even accepted into a graduate level chemistry course is a testament to your talent in the subject. You said yourself that you barely put any effort into the subject: it probably just didn't interest you. There's nothing wrong with that. Maths doesn't interest me - I know many people who find that very mysticism we've discussed in mathematics, and believe me I've tried, but I just can't. Chemistry, however, I love.
I too have trouble recognizing my own emotions. My sister insists that I have none, but I find that difficult to believe. I doubt that there's a person alive who lacks emotion entirely. I think you might find that when you tell people that you "don't know" how you're feeling, they find that odd because they've already assessed your situation and have decided what they would feel in your position without necessarily ever having been in it. I've grown used to throwing a bunch of words into a sentence to describe an emotion that is really only familiar to me through textual encounters and observation of other people. At least you're honest about how you're feeling. Or not feeling. Some people have this odd preoccupation with emotion - a strange notion that we must be feeling it intensely all the time. Some of us just don't.
What exactly was so bad about your father that made him a sociopath?
From what I've read but that isn't much your father engaged in activities with you and taught you a great deal..so where's the bad part?
ah nevermind, i see on page 7 now
There's a lot of projection going on there, Pinky.
Firstly, I have a reason for being in a relationship. Of course I do - doesn't everyone? This guy probably isn't going anywhere - they never do - but if he does, yes, I'll just find another like him. Why wouldn't I? You seem quite desperate to believe that he will leave, however, and more desperate to believe that that's going to upset me. Oh, Pinky, is that what happened to you? Did someone break your heart? You'll survive.
Now, as I know that you yourself attempted to commit suicide and ended up hospitalized because of it, your fifth paragraph is very obviously projection. You should've fought your parents. I expect that my children will fight me, but not by starving themselves like you did. Nope. My children will be born of my blood and they will be conquerors, not passive-aggressive whiners who do everything Mummy and Daddy tell them to and, in their mid-twenties, break down and need to be hospitalized. Or (preferably) they won't be born at all. I have no interest in squeezing out a bunch of shrieking brats. Kids would burden me.
Here's what I'm looking for in life: knowledge. That's it. Sorry: I realize you put a lot of thought into attempting to analyze me, but you've failed. The only thing I truly prize is knowledge. I love power, but I could live without it. It's knowledge that I couldn't stand to lose, or to be denied. Thing is, I know I'm at least as screwed as anyone else here, so you're completely wrong on that count, though you've just told me implicitly that you believe me to be in some way more confident than anyone else at the least and actually superior to some at the most. I don't believe that - I embrace my depravity. There are many people here whose virtues far surpass mine. I consider this neither good nor bad.
What do you look for in life, now that you know what it means to attempt to end yours? I assume that you were pretty serious about ending your life at the time, yet you obviously survived. Has the experience changed your perspective? Are you seeking to accept yourself? I see no particular reason why you couldn't accept yourself as you are now - so why don't you?