by possumHave you said all these things to her?
I've said far more of it to her. I just wish I could somehow get her to see. Though you can only lead the camel to the water, you can't get it to drink. That would be up to the camel.
Isn't this typical narcissistic BPD behaviour? Idealize someone at first, then focus on all the faults and try to change them? Push, push away. If she's BPD then you better accept this or move on. She sounds mentally ill, don't waste your time trying to change her!