When did you start to realize you were not the same as everyone else.
Did a certain incident show you how you differed from regular people or possibly a friend lended a outside perspective.
Once you learned of this, did it change your behavior. Did you act more deliberately or did you try to blend in.
From a very young age, around 7, I realized that kids were more scandalous and annoying than what I could stand. Loud noises frightened me, I backed away when kids walked toward me, my OCD, etc. I wouldn't partake in their activities unless I was genuinely interested in them; I would play on my own during recess reading a book/playing TCG/drawing/daydreaming, etc. There are several other "illuminating moments" when I was in 3rd grade that made me realize, too. I think I was becoming aware of how lonely I seemed to them when all of the sudden a bunch of kids approached me and forced me to play Cops and Robbers. Pretty sure by age 10 I was aware that my classmates just didn't click with me at all, not even the shut-ins; year after year, it was the same thing. My thoughts didn't fit any group.
I tried to blend in, actually making expressions, responding to people's calls and such. However, I still held my distance and I still didn't click with them. Thought I would make my journey through school a bit more pleasant. So, yeah, it did change my behavior because I made the change.
Well when i was 6 or 7 i tried to hang( hang mans noose 'hang') a friend of mine from a tree. Her mother ran out just as i was about to push her off the trampoline. So that was when i realised i was 'different'. And that i shouldn't hang people hahaha:)
And now i blend in. Not here because well everyones gotta let steam off. In real life i dont think anyone knows i'm 'different'
except maybe my Mother.. I think she has her suspicions. :)
I noticed by about 4 years old that I was less reactive to some things in some ways, and more reactive in others. Like I got scared shitless when I feared something was happening, but didn't really think about things beyond that. I also noticed that I was much quietter, and relatives mentioned this as well. In some ways I was timid as a child, in other ways I was described by people as fearless.
by thesugargirlthey tell you with their eyes. sometimes i laugh after some bad shit comes out of my mouth, because it makes it seem playful. or not, but it works.
I used to get mad at people for trying to boss me around with their eyes. They were telling me to "knock it off" with their eyes, but eventually I matured and didn't annoy people intentionally just to annoy them, unless they were asking for it. That, voice intonation, and body languages are huge tells.
Honestly, no large gaps enough to matter were really present until I was about 6 when I started the first grade. I never stayed in class, and it took a while for me to adjust and behave myself. And I ended up getting held back. I was sarcastic with teachers, and really didn't care what anyone had to say. I think that was when I started on the road to getting my ODD diagnosis.
Then it was my brothers getting all awkward and scared when I'd pressure them into doing things we're not supposed to do. They'd then tell on themselves, and I'd wonder why? I later figured out they felt guilty.
I began at a performing arts school, so I saw that pretty much everyone was "different" to some degree, whether it was from meds, a weird life, being exposed to that school's environment, the sheer pressures the place pushed, or just being born that way. It had me become interested in the differences and how they'd interact with each other, as the people there were so diverse.
When I left that place it became pretty apparent that I wasn't quite the norm. I thought people were more unique until that shift, then I saw how people could be less remarkable than I gave credit. That lesson was disappointing, but thankfully there were some gems among the roughage.