"I'm interested in here because I too, am bored. People come here because they have an excess of ability, with no outlets. I work nights. I have a lot of time. "
Same boat.
I'm surpirsed at how much I can relate to your description.
I understand the emotional numbness and the habitual need to dominate others. My IQ and intelligence test rank me as average, my knowledge relies heavily on my perception and the interpretation of others. I love history for this matter.
I am driven towards success simply because I deserve it, and have come to expect nothing less than perfection from myself. A USMC Reservist, Infantryman with a job making 3 times as much as my peers. Combined with the fact that I have my foot in the door of the real estate business. No applaud or approval is at all sought after by these accomplishments, just reinforcing the possibility that have one of your symptoms.
I've heard the voices and have sought after the cause behind them. I eventually chalked it up to be a consequence from socially isolating myself, but I'll consider your explanation.
Do you have NPD?
Maybe you should look at conquering 'The English Written Language' and then add it to your extensive list of accomplishments. Or at least stop trying to sound so clever by putting words in a sentence you've obviously just found in your online Thesaurus, would be a start.
by Random Internet StrangerMaybe you should look at conquering 'The English Written Language' and then add it to your extensive list of accomplishments. Or at least stop trying to sound so clever by putting words in a sentance you've obviously just found in your online Thesaurus, would be a start.
You first.
by reyalI should clarify. It's not body numbness but a feeling of being disconnected emotionally. Yes, the body in narcissism is actually heightened in the sense. You might find that you have sensory issues, you can feel things others can't. Dust on your keyboard, you might be hypersensitive to filth and other things most other people tolerate. Sense of smell is also heightened. I'm currently studying why these sensory issues arise and I think it has to do with the original assault on the brain and its adaptive response. It has to do with glutamate, somehow. The brain is a wild ride.
Yep, you probably have MN. What you are describing about happiness is dead on with that kind of thing. You are happy when others reach that state of enlightenment like you understand, but that doesn't last long as you soon realize this person understands these concepts you have discovered in a false sense. You are soon disappointed and angered by their lack of ability to truly get what it takes to achieve this sort of freedom?
Well I did want to see if anyone here actually had this going on, my posts are structured in a way that helps me determine certain things. It's what I'm studying as of current. I appreciate the feedback.
Yes, heightened self-awareness is a key part of my personality. I thought it was interesting that my vision was 20/13-ish for most of my life so far, and that my sense of smell and taste were so acute. The way I look around sometimes could be described as "overly aware," or even paranoid-looking.
Christ, it sounds like you've looked into my fucking head. It is identical to what I've recently determined as the source of my generally undirected anger.
No problem. I've always been interested in what made me think and see things so differently from others, and how I've always related more with people who exhibit narcissistic personality traits (I call them traits of a person who knows strength).
Your anger most likely stems from being mercilessly bullied in school all those years and never standing up for yourself. It remains "undirected" because even now you're too much of a pathetic weakling to act on it. I don't think you have any specific disorder, I think you're just looking for something to explain your strange behaviour and why you've never fit in. Your strange behaviour including: acting like an emotionless cyborg, limiting facial expression while alone to "conserve energy", and sniffing people's belly buttons to determine their identity(yeah I just read that in the "remembering names" thread haha.....hahaha). The truth is you're just a misfit virgin and an all round fucking freak. Why that is I do not know. So, in what way do you take pleasure in the suffering of others? Describe some of the sadistic acts you've carried out.
I thought you were making that up but its really there.
by TheLeviathanI have the memory of a dead goldfish. Names are practically non-existent for me. I associate based on differences in smell. The smell of people's belly-button lent, in particular. It's one of the most variant smells from one person to the next.
Leviathan, how??