Describe to me an instance where you almost failed. Be it a near death experiance or a simple embarrassment.
Feel free to add some humor, comedic moments are a few and far between in this forum.
Back when I was 16, me and my lady friend at the time were having sex. It being my first o during sex, I ended up pissing in this girl as I came. She immediately jumped up and started yelling at me in confusion. She also being inexperienced with sex, I convinced her that she was a squirter and that she should be ashamed. I acted disgusted as she apologized and the guilt factor weighed in heavy on her. Needless to say I obviously forgave her and got a make-up blow job out of it.
It still cracks me up every now and then.
I once jumped over a ditch, misjudged it, failed to get good footing on the landing, fell forward, and narrowly avoided impaling my chest on the remains of an old fencepost. I rolled just enough to the side that all I lost was a bit of skin, but it was a total fluke. If my weight had been on the other side, lights out.
I'm told it was hilarious.
I have felt like I was going to die several times after taking cocktails of drugs, but I'm not sure that I was actually close to death... more like I was so outside normality that I might as well have been dead for all my perspective knew.
Couple of years ago I decided to grill me up a nice steak with all the fixings and have a nice night to myself. So I set myself up with a movie and get ready to dig into this glorious slab of medium rare perfection. The very first goddamn bite and a piece gets lodged in my throat.
I remember thinking to myself after a couple of failed attempts of pounding my chest and trying to get this thing out of my throat, "I'm going to die". Things started to get serious quick when I realized just what type of predicament I was in, especially living alone.
Instinct finally kicked in and I managed to stick my entire fist in my mouth and down my throat to pull that mother fucker right out of there.
So I threw that son of a bitch back down the hatch and finished my entire meal like the master of the universe that I am. Movie wasn't bad, either.
You might find this as intresting as I did.
"Meanwhile, among DMT smokers, out of the macrocosm of potential experiences, two major themes emerge nearly universally:1) A stretching of time – they experience the hectic 6 or 7 minutes as a near eternity or lifetime. Imagine Cobb’s 50 year night in Inception.2) They experience religious incarnations with a tilt toward whatever sect the subject is affiliated with.Here’s the clincher: after death, while this massive psychedelic dose courses through the brain, there is this mysterious several minutes where the brain still functions. With our new perspective, however, we at last understand what these minutes are…These few minutes after death, subjectively, are experienced as an eternity, engrossed in the DMT universe. Also, the trip itself is a highly personal experience dictated by the deepest realms of the subconscious.Therefore, whatever at your deepest core you expect to happen when you die… Congratulations, that’s what’ll happen… Every religion was right.Mystery solved. Peace on earth.If you’re resourceful, you can find this stuff and try it. The bigger question now is: do you really want to know where you’ll be spending eternity?"