I read this article and immediately thought of some of the people on this forum and how well it related to them.
Read it yourself and share your thoughts: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200911/ego-insecurity-and-the-destructive-narcissist
"Push back".
Clearly written by a victim.
The greatest tool a bully has is that of a weakling standing up to him. True enough, it's an act worthy of respect, but how will it be used by any bully? He will make an example of the weakling to the extent that the bullied will never have the courage to stand up to the bully again, and the best thing about it is that everyone else will see what happens if they would try something similar.
Honestly, the biggest difference between a bully and anyone else is that he has the advantage. People in a position of power wants to keep it.
The best way to beat a bully is to take away his advantage, simple really. Go behind his back and rally the forces, that's how any revolution starts, and it will only be a success if the forces are greater than the dictator's/bully's. If not then you will be made into an example.
by ObsidianClearly written by a victim.
There's nothing in that article that indicates he's a victim.
The greatest tool a bully has is that of a weakling standing up to him. True enough, it's an act worthy of respect, but how will it be used by any bully? He will make an example of the weakling to the extent that the bullied will never have the courage to stand up to the bully again, and the best thing about it is that everyone else will see what happens if they would try something similar.
I've seen people stand up to bullies and knock them on their ass, lol.
A bully's greatest weakness is his own delusional belief that he's not weak himself. Or maybe it's not a delusional belief at all.
I think most bullies are actually aware of their weaknesses and that's precisely why they bully others, to make themselves feel stronger than they actually are. Bullying compensates for their insecurities.
Honestly, the biggest difference between a bully and anyone else is that he has the advantage. People in a position of power wants to keep it.
If a bully was in a position of power he wouldn't need to bully others to reassure himself of it. That's just insecurities talking.
A truly powerful person doesn't need to put others down to build himself up. That's what a weak person does because a weak person needs to do it to make himself feel powerful. The power is an illusion though. It's not real power.
I liked your PB story. The only shame was that your victim didn't know what you did. That would have been nice. :D
Bullies don't have any real power. They're just scared and want social acceptance. That's why they try to rally others and why others join in. You can tell a lot about people in the midst of a feeding frenzy.
by Thrill Kill
by ObsidianClearly written by a victim.
There's nothing in that article that indicates he's a victim.
The greatest tool a bully has is that of a weakling standing up to him. True enough, it's an act worthy of respect, but how will it be used by any bully? He will make an example of the weakling to the extent that the bullied will never have the courage to stand up to the bully again, and the best thing about it is that everyone else will see what happens if they would try something similar.
I've seen people stand up to bullies and knock them on their ass, lol.
A bully's greatest weakness is his own delusional belief that he's not weak himself. Or maybe it's not a delusional belief at all.
I think most bullies are actually aware of their weaknesses and that's precisely why they bully others, to make themselves feel stronger than they actually are. Bullying compensates for their insecurities.
Honestly, the biggest difference between a bully and anyone else is that he has the advantage. People in a position of power wants to keep it.
If a bully was in a position of power he wouldn't need to bully others to reassure himself of it. That's just insecurities talking.
A truly powerful person doesn't need to put others down to build himself up. That's what a weak person does because a weak person needs to do it to make himself feel powerful. The power is an illusion though. It's not real power.
Everything in that indicates that he's been victimized as a child. He pretty much just turned the words his mother used to console him into to an essay. Just something like this makes the whole article into obvious fiction: "The boys who picked on the retarded kid down the block and the mean girls who didn't invite the plain girl to the party grow up to be just as bossy, condescending, arrogant - and frightened - as they were as children." For an example, a kid used to be mean to the other kids at kindergarten where I was because he was older and bigger, unfortunately he later ended up in the same first grade as me and I bullied him for 6 years. Now he's the most humble and kind person I know. So, the article lost its credibility in the first paragraph.
Bullies become bullies because they already have the advantage, do you really think it's a coincidence that the strongest boy in the class is the bully 95% of the times?
The bullying is asserting of dominance, you will see it among animals all over the animal kingdom, and I assure you that not all bullying animals have a rough time at home. If you see a dog pinning down another dog will you assume that the dog on top is just insecure? Those things are just the things parents tell their bullied children to make them feel better, but yes, those children often grow up with that belief, and it is easy to spot someone who's been victimized as a child when they repeat those words.
You can't bully someone who's stronger than you, that's how you know that the bully is in a position of power. Yes, the victim could come back and bully the bully with a gun, but in that scenario the victim is the one in a position of power.