Sociopath Community

Is it abandonnement 'issues' if it's not really an issue? 

It could be a subconscious coping mechanism. It seems to be.

It's been in place ever since I can remember. I forget my emotions easily.

Mirage - not an issue then.

Good post.

I see a lot of people here denying that they have abandonment issues and they might be correct, but to your post I'd like to add that abandonment issues aren't always immediately apparent. You don't have to be diagnosed with BPD to have abandonment issues.

by GrandMoff

as for thrill kill  ... she completely missed the point 

How do you figure that?

People with abandonment issues are usually clingy and insecure. My previous post gave a pretty clear indication that I'm not affected by either of those things.

by GrandMoff

I'm just saying it seems a stretch for people to describe these childhood traumas and then assert that it had no affect on their psyche at all ....

I don't consider my father's death a childhood trauma. I was too young to even know him that well, and my mother had left him before he even killed himself, so there was no reason for me to feel traumatized by his absence.

This has always been my motto in life and I've lived by it for as long as I can remember:

I was separated from my mother at the tender age of nine, due to her incompetence and incapacity to care for me. Did it affect me? Probably. Did it result in abandonment issues? No. As was already stated here, once I find no use for people, I dispose of them accordingly.

I actually do have a little bit of abandonment issues when it comes to the part of me that feels I need some areas of my life to be done for me. I recruit people to do these things for me and I will feed into their wants (sometimes sexually) until I'm done with them/or they are wrapped around my finger. If that person tried to leave me before I was done with them that would probably annoy me. I might even cause a scene if I really needed that person for the responsibility. 

But that's never happened before.

Hey, thanks for the replies, didn't expect this many :)

Personally, I have some abandonment issues. It's somewhat embarrassing to admit it and for a pretty long time I didn't find it problematic at all. It's easy for me to base my relationships on mutual interests. The problem presents itself in relationships where I feel the relationship depends on me as a person. It's pretty hard to analyze when exactly I start to feel insecure. It's mostly close relationship where I feel like I'm being myself, not just a collection of various achievements I've come to have over the years.

It's a lot easier for me to pretend being something I'm not because then I feel I'm not the one being judged. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have problems with my sense of self-worth. Sometimes I feel I'm trying to convince myself and others that I'm a good person, but there's always this small sound at the back of my head telling me that I'm just fooling myself. Maybe it's true, in a sense. I'm afraid that others sense it as well, which is why I occasionally become clingy. When eventually the relationship ends I become either resentful or broken. I'd like to think I've worked out some of my problems, though.

Like I mentioned, I didn't always find this to be an issue. Some years ago, all of my relationships were based on very shallow things and I generally didn't trust people or think very highly of them. I was suffering from dissociation and none of my relationships were very deep on my part. Relationships and socializing in general were a way to keep myself from getting bored and to boost my ego. I found it easier to keep some distance and my sense of self-worth was mostly based on a false sense of superiority.

I decided to try something different eventually. Maybe it helped to form a few relationships which I didn't feel were based on any extroverted qualities of mine.

I'm not sure why being a good person is a big deal to me. I just feel better about myself when I manage to help someone.

by Pink01

Lol at your Nile joke...that was funny. I'm going to have to borrow that one.

Am I suppose to be like "Why didn't daddy love me? Why would he try to leave me?"

 Exactly.  I never understood why people reassure kids of divorced parents that it's "not your fault that Mommy and Daddy are separating."  My response would have been something like, "Why would it be my fault?  They're the ones who are idiots."

My parents almost went through a divorce. They went through a period where they both had restraining orders against each other and a court ordered social worker kept wanting to talk to me. I refused to because it was a waste of my time. I didn't care LOL.

People assume when parents get divorced the kids are suppose to be all torn up. Maybe it was because my parents never had a marriage.