I am full of anger and haterd but calm so many times. It honestly makes me feel almost nostalgic and joy filled to consider murdering someone. I have fantasies where I murder someone and then consume their flesh or blood. I recently joined the army in the hopes I will get to kill and be surrounded by violence and aggression.
I am too afraid to commit an actual murder right now. I feel like what if I fail? What if I do not kill them and they stay alive? Or if they overpower and call the police? I can't simply draw a knife and command them to do as I say.
I was thinking since I frequent prostitutes to visit one and in the act of sex to draw a weapon to kill them. I am physically training hard now to be able to kill with my barehands. To say strangle them to death.
But all the evidence that will be left behind. Seems everyone is caught.