Sociopath Community

"Do you think tough love and boundaries work with people that have Personality disorders or other intimacy problems?"

I once thought "yes" to this, but now I am left uncertain.

I don't know either. I have intimacy issues. If someone asked me to stop doing something, I would try, if I could. I wouldn't be perfect, but I would try.

I've had to use tough love to fix things in the past, but people have limits when other context is lumped on top of it. With enough stress anyone will break, and "tough love" is stressful.

My expectations are at times overbearing, and I don't always notice until the damage is done.

A pdoc told me to set boundaries for a disordered relative. It made things considerably worse most times. 

Thanks.

Of course there are some people that just like to be assholes. I think he is one of those.

That's why you laugh at any attempt of external influence, while studying it and in the end understanding yourself better?

I encourage acquaintances and friends to specify boundaries they don't want crossed beforehand. My standards and expectations never match theirs, so it is almost guaranteed they will feel uncomfortable. I can't tell for shit whether it is making them feel that way, communication is key. I know I have those words in mind when I speak to them the next time we meet. I manage my actions also based on what they have previously expressed. So, yeah, don't leave it up to rigid thinking people to pick up unconformities.

Tough love is somewhat tricky for me. It could be misunderstood as betrayal. From what I guess this concept refers to, being stern on someone who just can't get it could be translated as confrontation. I have tough love from my father and friends. That sort of thing forces retrospection and sort of a reflective moment. Like a timeout. Giving me everything I want just winds me suspicious of them, could even drive me into a paranoid loop of mistrust. I guess with tough love I can see if what I have been doing was wrong or not, as opposed to spoiler.

Idk.

I'm not sure what you're implying.

Do you want to be free of the implied truth, or a subject to that which is derived from experience?