Sociopath Community

by circinus

It sounds like he needs validation. He's quite open about this 'dark side,' so I'm not sure if it's a kind of sociopathy he's displaying or if it's some combination of narcissistic and sadistic traits. It seems he likes your attention, but only when you're "dependent" on him and viewing him as something different, special. He called to see if you were upset...he wants you to be upset because he wants you to need him. He wants to have power over you. 

People like this can be oddly attractive, they are different and sometimes it's refreshing to get past the social mask that most people display and see the more selfish desires that are within all of us. Good for casual relationships, but don't get emotionally or financially attached...that would be trouble. It sounds like you're thinking this through and you're not going to let him manipulate you easily.

thank you @circinus

Yes, I think he needs validation. But isn't it how it works? Try and error? I don't know much about Sociopathy and all this. To me, we are all human beings and behave for some reason, everyone could be a murder or a psychopath or whatever. We all have more or less a dark side, I am not better or worse. My two cents. Of course you know all much more about that.

Power and control. I read about it, but still don't get it. I have power about myself (at least I hope so) and I have friends for example. I don't want to have power about them, I don't want to control them. I want to be with them, having a good time. Why control them?

By the way, he was also very controlling and jealous all the time. I think this wasn't because, he "loved" me so much as he said, it was also a tool to have power over me. To install this. First I defended myself (of course). Than I stopped. 

Haha, yup he is oddly attractive and refreshing in a way, but as it came to the discard very draining as well and demanding. It was like meeting an Alien. As you can see it's still amazing in a way. He is too smart (and experienced) for me and I don't have that need to manipulate people (maybe because of my "lack" of power and control. lol). But I am interested now in this, how it works. This "psychopath" thing opened up a new world.

by Spatial Mind

Granted he was honest and direct about what he'll attempt to do to you, while asking you how you feel about it, well, that is a display of real power cause nothing can defeat the truth. That said, he has you interested enough to seek answers trying to figure him out. He's very smart, and he knows you use the Internet and how unlikely it is that you'll find a clear answer to what it means when men are like that.

If he is a sociopath, he's one that is smart enough to know those willing to sign up to him are less of a hassle.

He has money and, as you say, beautiful women. He also has your interest, which is why you're here.

The mysterious is interesting, and him being your subject, your heart WILL jump if you meet again, and without a doubt, you'll want his approval as you are still fond of him.

There is no point in offering you either advice, ( that is along the the lines of, if you should keep him or leave him for good. ) You already know what's best. But if anything, how much time you invest trying to solve his case, will let you know the level of difficulty you'll have resisting him.

 

 thank for your reply @spatial Mind

yes, nothing can defeat the truth. But it was interesting how he "inflicted" it. We talked. And  than - out of the blue- there come this odd sentences (as I wrote in my first post for example). You sit there and think "why is he saying that" but later. My mind didn't get it first completely. It is like to puzzle. Later - in my case when it was over - I had all the pieces and then puzzle it together, and it made sense, in an odd way. (I am not really able to describe it)

No, my heart wouldn't jump, because I am not in love with him anymore and because I hate cheaters I would bite off his penis. Poor women. That s over. Also the sex wasn't addictive as I already mentioned in another post. I don't want to see him. No. I am just interested to learn more about this kind of perspective. And his point of view as I said. 

I am interested in "reading him". How his mind is working. I mean he really seduced me. How did that work? I want to know why I am that easy prey. I want to learn about that. 

by RichardParker

Hey there lilly, ;)
It's really not complicated. Rather than spending a bunch of time trying to figure out what this guy wants and visiting sociopath forums to understand your date, figure out what the fuck you want (stated for emphasis not judgement). What kind of life do you want? What qualities are important to you? He cheats, he lies, he's threatening you… meh, find a real man. Tell the fucker to beat feet. Done.  

 

 hey there Richard Parker,

thank you also for your post. Of course it isn't complicated. When it is understood. I know it is all about me. But don't you need others to mirror you back who you are? Again, a relationship isn't possible. He is a prick. I think it has to do with this "psychopath" thing. I never met one with these traits. Maybe he showed me my inner psychopath and now I am getting in touch with it (just joking) It is a bit like being Alice in Wonderland. Don't know how to express it.

Lily,

That is a lovely name. ( A daughter's name)

If you don't love or like him, and the sex isn't good, don't see him.

If I were in your shoes and I loved him, and enjoyed the sex, and the convo, I would see him again.

by kitty

His depth is only an illusion. Inside he is only a chaotic mess of reflections and desires. By dark side, he means his shadow complex, his inner wolf, that is animalistic and instinctive, also incredibly fake and gay.

Kitty, this comment is hysterical!

Btw, Lilly, Your story is remarkably familiar to me.

Don't you guys know who Lili Marleen was? :D

edit because maria can't be assed to google

No. Who?

Was wondering the same ever since the OP.  It's something everybody would know.

Marlene btw, & Lili.  Ima stickler like that.

by LillyMarleen

@kitty

thank you for your reply. Yes he behaved a bit gay. I asked him once, if he is bi sexual. He denied. It seems he has several lifes in a way. I can't put my finger on it. As I said, I never experienced one like him. 

Narcissists, which he is one, do not have a sexual identity. They have no identity. They assume others' identities and take the best traits of all of them to make a persona they feel will keep them safe and get them what they need. 

Often the narcissist is asexual with periods of gross behaviors of sexual activity. 

I have witnessed a narcissist/psychopath go from being an inner city gun toting thug to switching in minutes when going to a gay bar to a flighty gay man. It could of been confused with dissociative identity disorder - this one leans more toward sociopath which is narcissism on steroids. Even though it's not his main diagnosis, he did dissociate and form separate sexual identities based on the environment. 

They definitely do not have boundaries that are clearly male or female. The whole basis of this disorder is that it forms before the child has its own identity so they are always floating in outer space trying to find who they are in other people. 

thank you @reyal

wow what you have witnessed sounds really strange. 

As I mentioned I still don't believe in this diagnosis systems. 

Actually he told me in London he is schizophrenic. This last London meeting with him, was so strange. Just a lot of crazymaking and manipulation. Fortunately I was able to observe him, emotionally not attached. That was just too much for me, too weird. It puts me off. At some point I wanted to buy myself popcorn and just watch his behavior, like in a cinema. I became aware this all has nothing to do with me. But why was I thinking that? So interesting. He said to me "why isn't it possible to make you cry?" my thought (later!) was "why is it possible to want to make me cry?", but I didn't respond, at that time I was just watching and listening, I wasn't able to talk to him. He played all the parts of a Melodram. Like in a Bollywood Film. I swear, if there came in some Indian dancer and he was singing, I wasn't wondering. He is from India (that s why bollywood film). Everything seemed to be possible. Lala-land. I was stunned, amazed and disgusted at the same time and realized exactly in one moment, all of this was fake. And I played my part in it. But I didn't feel fake.

Crash. Boom. 

- game over -

Well, at least it was never boring with him.

btw I like gay people, everyone can do what he or she wants.