I have a feeling we have a similar state of lack of stimulation, but different perspective on acting or thinking about it. I am not sure why I even care about this. It is probably the only thing I get agitated over. I get agitated that it agitates me. Whatever. What worries me is the slow erosion I sense between curiosity and impulse. I think almost anything offers only a temporary fix.
Yep. Lack of stimulation frustrates me too. It makes me crave it. The boredom I experience from lack of stimulation just about drives me up the wall sometimes. I feel this urge to do things that excite me. The things that most other people seem to enjoy doesn't do much for me at all.
As life wears on, I am becoming less and less enamored by the antics of our facile, barely-more-than-a-primate species.
So, find a challenge. Something that will require focus and intensity and stay on it like a dog on a meaty bone. Force yourself. Complete the project and find another.
To make it exciting, up the ante each time, risk vs reward. Skate the edge of possibility and the Law and squeeze your deal in along the gray lines.
Create a code of conduct for yourself based on whatever you feel like. Work within it. Make it harder, and work in the light. Being a maggot is easy, no challenge there. Lie and cough up bogus paper work when necessary of course, as the End justifies the means.
While you may be just being facetious, it's not like it hasn't crossed my mind. I don't think I could commit murder without some serious disturbance, not just boredom. However, killing out of passion or defense or boredom are the only "reasonable" scenarios to kill. I say boredom because it is a reasonless reason, which while it is "wrong" and against the law, so are drugs and tax evasion. I guess it leans toward a more insanity-defense type of killing, out of impulse or suspension of accepted moral reasoning. A reason that I won't take the thought of boredom killing (literal and metaphorical) is the mess which would quite possibly ensue. I just see it as turning much more stressful in an aftermath than what could be imagined. It seems like too much work. But hey, if you have a good plot and plan, so be it. Spree killing or even serial killing doe not hold any more appeal than any other thing, while having enormous potential of just making shit worse.
you could make up a self grandiose justification of killing, like removing drug dealers from your town so you can take control of the territory yourself, or, to put a little action in your area, shake things up for fun. the law is imaginary, it only exists if you get caught.
I guess I just don't have the motivation or dedication to be a murderer, and there is no way I will give into such an impulse or idea without long, careful planning, which already takes any fun out of it. I never got that cutthroat drive that a psychopath is supposed to have.