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Grooming-used on "prey"

Vicious?

I imagine you as the opposite.

Posts: 10218
Grooming-used on "prey"

Manipulation is just acting in ways that will lead to a desired outcome. Everyone manipulates as a part of being alive, it's just passive and typically goes unnoticed. Are people supposed to feel guilty if they happen to know how to steer?

"Can I have a bite of that?" is manipulation for example, as asking them to do something will make them behave differently than if you hadn't.

Manipulation itself isn't bad or abusive, it simply is. It's the intent behind it that judges the nature of it. A manipulator is more responsible for the outcome that comes from their actions than otherwise, but not all manipulation is inherently bad.

As for perception, I'd argue it's purposely designed to be malleable, and it's difficult to not distort it even simply by the virtue of existing close enough to someone to alter how they see the world for even just a moment.

Posts: 10218
Grooming-used on "prey"

"People do resent your manipulative behaviour, they just dismiss it as a character flaw and politely do not mention it."

My case has been closer to being friends with manipulative or analytical types. It makes it almost more like a game.

A few cases of me pointing it out came after good outcomes, so it was closer to being thanked for it.

Not all cases of pointing out manipulation make for negative outcomes. It's just more typical to expect a poor response to it being found out since premeditated manipulation is typically bad.

Posts: 399
Grooming-used on "prey"

My case has been closer to being friends with manipulative or analytical types. It makes it almost more like a game. A few cases of me pointing it out came after good outcomes, so it was closer to being thanked for it.

I can understand that. When a deviant is in the company of other deviants, he or she is not a deviant.

I have always openly discussed manipulation with other manipulative people. Manipulation is a fun topic when social rules do not apply.

 

Not all cases of manipulation make for negative outcomes.

We could argue that point forever which would be fruitless. I will concede.

 

Posts: 5426
Grooming-used on "prey"

 

by Thrill Kill

 

by Daddy

You've only scratched the surface and a seasoned manipulator would seldom start off with flattery. Infact the opposite is true. The first thing the target must realize (or at least believe) is that they are below you. Only then is it worthwhile to build them up.

I disagree.

In my experience, the best way to manipulate someone is to make them feel like you're on their level. When they feel like you're someone who they can relate to, who values them and treats them with respect, they tend to trust you quicker, which makes manipulating them a lot easier and quicker than your suggested method.

 Actually, you'd be surprised how often Jay's recipe works. I've never done it on purpose, but it's something I've noticed happening a lot. It's very weird how many people just want to please a strong, domineering figure and even fight for his/her attention and affection, no matter how big of an asshole he/she is. I think it says a lot even TV characters like House or the new Sherlock have a lot of fans.

Anyway, all this has a natural explanation I suppose. Man is a social animal, and has evolved in hyerarchical structures. The leader would get all the respect and mating priviledges, and usually the leader wasn't the nicest most loving guy around. Jay's recipe of manipulation plays with these ingrained instincts/desire to "please the leader". Some people place themselves above others and in a "leadership" position, and when they do show affection or praise someone, that someone feels very special and is willing to go to great length to not dissappoint the person who makes them feel so special. It's also weird that sometimes being an arrogant asshole is almost everything one has to do to be viewed as a leader (at least in some circles). I think this is the mechanism by which so many women fall for bad guys, and Kittens go crawling back to their fiances and put up with a lot of shit just to please them.

Also, the alternation between abuse and affection is sorta addictive for some. But I do agree with you, a certain weak, low self esteem type is more susceptible to this.

Posts: 5426
Grooming-used on "prey"

 

by Turncoat

It's not always a choice for people, some people only understand what it's like to be a victim, turning every situation they get into into one of self-victimization simply from not being able to fathom another way of seeing things. Once that's been cracked and the shock of it all wears off, some grow beyond the victim habit.

...that being said, many people are against change, finding it easier to carry on the way they know best. I mostly question the accuracy of "most".

 

by Turncoat

That is very different from someone who was picked on all their lives and only understands being a victim.

Exposure to many options I'd say is best, otherwise they may just continue going on with the only ones they know.

The only options they know? Pfft. In our civilized society at least, I find it kinda hard to believe there are people who don't know anything but abuse. As children, there's an excuse for them, but as people grow up... They have to see there are other ways of living a life. They must meet people who wouldn't abuse them, but maybe help, be their friends and even love them. They just turn down their offers and go for abuse by their own choice. I have no sympathy for this type of people, they deserve every shit that comes their way imo.

Posts: 446
Grooming-used on "prey"

^Grade A fucking idiot............

...and you're sure you're not american you simple minded retard?

learned helplessness

Posts: 446
Grooming-used on "prey"

is Daddy.... Jhawk?

Posts: 446
Grooming-used on "prey"

lol.......

really, Ed?......

Posts: 5426
Grooming-used on "prey"

Ok...this seems to be a touchy subject to you. Tell us more about your issues.

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