by HelenaDon't worry, Thrill: I will tell you why you disgust me. In good time, Thrill. All in good time.
Forget it. I was curious when I asked you the first time, but considering you've evaded my question three times now, I've since lost interest.
Oh Thrill Kill, you're the hot commodity around here. Congrats. You try so hard to prove to someone that you're better than them. Shouldn't be so weak.
Edit: Here's a story. I woke up this morning, went to work and proceeded to diagnose people. I like to see what kind of reactions I can get out of people with what words. The more we know.
by Thrill Kill
by IamyouOh Thrill Kill, you're the hot commodity around here. Congrats.
Gee, thanks...
You try so hard to prove to someone that you're better than them.
No proof necessary.
Shouldn't be so weak.
Shouldn't project so much.
Haha, self projection. I wonder if the Normies do it too.
Hmm..
When I was young, my family lived on a horse ranch. One day our parents baught each of my brothers and sisters a horse. One of the horses was a little pony, and she wasn't trained how ride. The pony was my sister's but she was too afraid to train it because you have to basicly not let it buck you off until it gives up.
So I ended up riding my sister's pony, and from then on, the pony would buck anyone off who would try to ride her except me. So I had my own horse, and I also got my sister's pony. 
by LeggaInteresting topic thrill :)
What about your story? I'd be interested in hearing; I've read parts of it here and there.
Once upon a time, in a far off land, there was a little girl called JJ who lived with her mother and father. One day when JJ was still very young, her father was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for mental problems. A year after his release from the hospital, he decided that life wasn't worth living anymore and killed himself.
For JJ, life went on as usual...
Until JJ's mother met another man. Everything seemed fine at first and JJ got a new baby brother. As time went by though, the man became more angry and violent. JJ and her little brother would often witness the man abusing and beating their mother, until one day the mother decided she had enough and packed up all her stuff while the man was at work. She took her children and went into hiding.
JJ, her mother and her little brother moved around a lot, so that the man couldn't find them. Eventually JJ's mother heard that the man got caught for committing a crime and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. JJ's mother could finally relax, but she wasn't a happy woman. She started drinking a lot and abusing her children at times. She would yell at them, lose control of her anger sometimes and hit them, often continuously, for what seemed like forever. When JJ's mother hit her children, you didn't know if she was ever going to stop.
JJ's mother was also psychologically abusive. JJ felt as though her mother resented her simply for being alive. At times her mother treated her as though her life had no value.
One day JJ's mother took her children to a busy playground and left them there all day by themselves. JJ was 8 years old at the time and her brother was 6. It was dusk before JJ's mother finally returned for her children. She claimed she had to work that day and couldn't afford a babysitter, but JJ knew better. That wasn't the first time that JJ's mother had tried to get rid of her children. It was guilt that brought her back.
When JJ started school, she realized she was different from the other kids - less emotional and less interested in bonding with them through play. She had no interest in bonding with her own mother, so why would she care to bond with these other children. She played with other kids occasionally, but mostly preferred to spend time by herself, doing her own thing. JJ enjoyed exploring more than playing. JJ and her family moved around a lot, so there were a lot of places to explore.
Sometimes JJ enjoyed hurting people and animals. She had started having violent thoughts when she was quite young and would hurt her brother and her pets on occasion. Her mother sent her away to a home for troubled kids for a brief period of time when JJ got a bit older.
JJ's mother went out with several different guys over the years, all of whom were violent and abusive on some level.
JJ's mother, being a bartender for several years, would often come home drunk late at night, hanging onto some strange guy's arm, because she could barely get herself up the stairs. These guys would occasionally take advantage of her drunkeness and spend the night with her. JJ felt like her mother cared more about the men she was with than she did her and resented her for it. JJ felt like her mother was nothing more than a weak, cheap whore.
One day JJ's mother met a man who eventually gave JJ a little sister. The man was nice when he was sober, but a complete asshole when he was drunk.
He was drunk every night.... thanks to JJ's mother, who bought the alcohol because she too was an alcoholic.
JJ and her mother were very argumentative and did not get along at all. When JJ turned 17, her mother didn't want her there anymore, so JJ left home and moved in with another girl. They argued and JJ decided to move out. She had nowhere to go, so she moved in with her boyfriend's mother who was reluctant to let her move in because she didn't seem to like JJ very much. She was a christian woman and thought JJ dressed too provocatively.
One night JJ had planned to go out somewhere with her boyfriend, but he was running late and when he finally turned up, JJ was very angry and punched him in the stomach in front of his mother. JJ was no longer welcome in her boyfriend's mother's home.
JJ's mother didn't want her back home, but she reluctantly gave in and let her come back. The arguments continued and JJ moved back out again. Then JJ got into trouble again and moved back home again temporarily, then moved out. The arguments and trouble continued, with JJ moving in and out of home for several years. Eventually, her mother put her foot down and told JJ that she wasn't welcome back anymore.
JJ had a number of non-abusive boyfriends while growing up, but one day she met a man who would change all that. He was nice and respectful towards JJ for awhile at the beginning and was very happy when he discovered that JJ, who had forgotten to take the pill while drunk and stoned one night, had fallen pregnant, but as the relationship progressed his mood became progressively worse while intoxicated to the point he became verbally abusive towards her. Then, one night, ten months after JJ's daughter had been born, he tried to kill JJ in a drunken rage after having received false information that JJ was cheating on him. JJ fought back and when the opportunity arose, she manipulated him into feeling guilt. JJ found out later when the police arrived that her boyfriend had called the cops himself.
JJ took her baby and stayed at a women's shelter that night, then next day she rang her mother to ask if she could move back home again. Before she could fully explain to her mother what had happened, her mother blamed JJ for the attack. JJ was angry at her mother for blaming her when it wasn't even her fault, but she remained calm. As usual, her mother didn't really want JJ back, but with a baby in tow, she couldn't turn her down. So, JJ moved back home yet again. Then left after while.
JJ's mother never wanted her to have a kid and encouraged her to adopt her baby out, but JJ had chosen to keep her because she saw the advantages to having a kid. Last year, JJ's mother encouraged JJ to put her daughter in foster care until she turns 18 (the daughter that is), but JJ has kept her daughter, who is now 16.
JJ's daughter had a quite a few issues while growing. She had violent tendencies, was lying, cheating and stealing. She told JJ she wanted to blow up the book store they were in once because she was bored and on another occasion, she threatened to stab JJ because she wouldn't let her play with the other children for being rude. JJ thought that was amusing.
JJ's daughter had behavioral problems at school and JJ would have to attend welfare meetings on a regular basis. Not long after a liason officer was brought in to deal with the situation JJ took her daughter out of school and decided to home-school her instead. JJ's daughter's behavior has since improved.
There's so much more I could add to this story of mine, but it would be far too long.
Great story, Thrill. It inspired me to tell my own.
At the age of 13, Free decided to commit suicide because a character in a novel she identified with killed himself in the end. She overdosed on over-the-counter sleeping pills, taking the whole bottle, and woke up in Bellevue. She found Bellevue an interesting place and enjoyed the adventure. Her parents had to find a mental hospital where Free could be treated Bellevue was only for crises. Free was transferred to a nice, big nuthouse and was put on the Disturbed, closed ward. She enjoyed talking to shrinks and saw it as a game. She worked her way to the open ward. She decided she didn't want to kill herself but she wanted to kill someone else. Who it was, didn't matter. She picked a girl who had been casual friends with her for years. She had nothing against the girl but she was convenient. Free went to her friend's house and came up behind her and hit her with a heavy object. The girl managed to run out the door. Free was returned to the closed ward. Her shrink was not pleased.
Eventually, Free was discharged and went to a private school since she was such a sickie. While there, Free decided to quit high school when she reach age 16. She wanted to join the Beat Generation that was happening. She went to Greenage Village to pick up a guy and lose her virginity. Free of her virginity, Free had sex with several guys she knew from the nuthouse but she didn't enjoy the sex. At 16, she got a job and an apartment. She began to party and do drugs. Then she met a mysterious man who reminded her of O'Brien from 1984. His eyes were deep and hypnotic. It was love. They did a lot of speed and had sex for hours. Then he gave her a pill he said was a "goofball" and said, "You'll feel t his right in your clitoris." Then he and others beat and gang raped Free. Afterwards, she fled to her friends and decided she needed to move back with her parents as she was not ready to deal with all of that. She went back to High School and then to College. But she never forgot that man and went to New York every summer where she hooked up with him. She experimented with s/m by placing sex ads in certain papers. Eventually, she and another masochist started a masochist lib organization, the first in the world. Later, it expanded to take sadists too.
But Free got bored with her life in New York and went to California to join a hippie commune. She did ACID, joined a cult and tried to forget the kinky stuff. But that was impossible, of course. She returned to New York and met a proper Sadist who could fulfill her greatest dreams. That lasted two years. Adrift again, she went back to the West Coast and became enamored of Punk Rock. She went to all the shows in San Francisco and returned to her old love, speed. She then decided it would be fun to become a junkie, meaning a heroin addict. And then kick all by herself. Very macho fantasy but it turned out to be harder than she expected to get off. She had to go on methadone for several years. But with membership in OTO, she had the spiritual wherewithal to wean herself off methadone. Then she went to the other extreme and got on a health kick with a raw, vegan diet. She stayed on that diet for a whole year.
She got involved with lesbian s/m and had a very interesting life. She eventually got old but she has a sadistic dyke to get old with. And that's the streamlined story of my life.