I suspect their probe at my tender spots are not as accidental as assumed.
You think they are saying things on purpose? From what I gather, some inevitably crack a joke or two and you take it as a personal attack. You might be reading into their comments too much. I get the impression their commentary is superficial, therefore a waste of time to think anything of it. If it's a persistent attack coming from people you know, I would suggest changing your circle of friends before changing yourself. What sort of environment do you dwell in to receive that kind of treatment?
The best way to see one's weakness, in my opinion, is to be unbiased and self-critical. Hard to achieve if the mind is filled with self-doubt, and harder if it is closed to possibilities one might not like.
Usually I immediately disregard subtle insults (awkwardly of course) and try to steer the conversation to a more comfortable place, but this has caused me to never seriously consider myself.
Hmm.
You disregard the "attacks" yet you still feel you're not doing yourself a good by doing so. If anything, I would assume that would make you feel confident of who you are. Why do you feel you're not considering yourself by changing the subject of conversation to something other than the superficial remarks about your person?