Sociopath Community

- Take some losses.

- Examine what they say, and see if you can admit it, even though you don't want to.

While you are suffering. This is actually a good thing. From there on, a better version of yourself is of your choosing. If you do not stand against yourself and return to a comfort zone, which is the state of denial, then you'll walk away with long term negative effects and you will be the lesser version of yourself. 

Change is good, and when you are not comfortable being you, that means the ego no longer serves you and it's time for change.

Thank you Spatial Mind. If Anyone could humor me more, What If the root of the pain is not what was said - But that It was said at all. If one feels a sweet sadness at being rejected so matter what the intended target insecurity was.

For example I am entering a body building competition, and at this admission an associate exclaimed "You will have to lose ALOT of weight!" while eyeing me from head to toe. I have no qualms about my weight, but I was surprised this person tried to shame me publicly. I wondered all day why they were so tactless. Obsessively. Does this say anything to you about me?

Generally, I only value the opinion of people who I respect. And even that has its limits because people place value on different aspects of their life.

Sometimes an insult is really a disguised compliment. If I don't share someone's values, or our personalities are fundamentally different, then an insult from them is a compliment to my own self-image.

To me, it says you're sensitive. It might help to view the words as impersonal unsolicited advice. If you're entering a bodybuilding competition, you probably will want to focus a lot of effort into improving your physique. I say this without knowing a thing about how you look, because even the "professional" type bodybuilders make extra effort before a competition.

This is mostly removing the 'social' aspect of the conversation and focusing on the content of the comment - is it true or false? If true, utilize the information. If false, disregard.

This is just a cold read. I could well be full of shit; call me on anything you consider inaccurate. You'll likely reveal more about your real weaknesses when you are put on the defensive, anyway. 

So here goes. You are terribly insecure, and you are waking up to this reality (comparatively) late in life, though you still attempt to negate it by virtue of your acute narcissism. You have based the entirety of your self-worth on how you look, so you are particularly sensitive to criticism with regard your physique. You like to pretend that the "insults" of others have a minimal impact on your self-perception, although the opposite is true, because you are always seeking outside validation in order to "feel good" about yourself. Moreover, it is likely that in your hypersensitive condition, you misconstrue constructive criticism as stemming from malicious envy, as opposed to a frank assessment of your weaknesses, which are primarily rooted in your narcissistic self-absorption and low self-worth. You were probably ostracized and/or bullied as a child. Your mother likely doted over you, whilst being overly controlling.

I do have insecurities, but they aren't particularly terrible. I definitely appreciate outside validation from people I respect, but I also disregard the opinions of people who I have no desire to emulate. I don't differentiate constructive/destructive criticism based on intent, but rather on whether I personally find the criticism useful.

Returning the cold read, your first interaction with me is to try to seek out weaknesses by blindly fishing and hoping to analyze a response. You also like to feel superior by assuming that others have a low self worth, so you value high self esteem in yourself. You also posted this on a topic started by someone who was genuinely asking advice, so you prefer to try to analyze targets who haven't sought out your advice rather than give constructive criticism to those who seek it. You probably have a huge ego, a sadistic nature, a desire to fuck with people, and an overwhelming need to feel in control. I'd try to extrapolate that into your parents and childhood, but that's a bit too Freudian for my tastes.

I'm not sure if that was defensive enough to carry on the conversation, but nice to meet you regardless.

Uh, I was responding to the OP, who specifically requested to be eviscerated. Self-absorbed much? Lol.

Anyway, you are correct about the sadism, ego, and controlling nature. As for your hint at Freudian analysis, my father is most likely a psycho. Make of that what you will. Kudos, and nice to meet you too. 

Mostly I assumed you were replying to me because it said in reply to hypercube, but it makes more sense now that none of it was really accurate. I guess that's the "defensive" part coming through (:

I don't really pay attention to posting conventions. I thought I replied generally. Oops. Its been awhile since I've posted more than a few words here. :P