You always hear that love is a verb. I think that applies to your friends, family, lovers, etc.
It isn't always fireworks. It is a decision you make. You decide to love someone, and then act accordingly.
Family members: I don't experience love in this regard. Never really did. I feel like I have a lot of obligation to regularly stay in contact my parents and to update them on my life, as they've done a lot for me a still do. I enjoy having conversations with my father, and in a lot of ways I still feel like I need his acceptance, or else my self-esteem suffers. I don't have that much in common with my mother, and she's extremely emotional and needy, so I generally avoid her talking to her for more than I feel I have to. My younger sibling and I don't really talk. I don't love him either, but when I have to, I try and be a good role model for him.
Don't have any children.
I deeply care about a lot of my close friends and I'm very loyal towards them, but I wouldn't say I love them.
I DO definitely love my significant other. This is the only regard in which I can say I do experience love and I think I know what it feels like, but unfortunately it only comes in bouts. I've actually explained this to him, and it doesn't seem to bother him.
My SO and I actually define love in a similar way. It's very "cozy."
How do you/do you ever experience ;
Love towards a family member.
Being of service to them, even if it means hardship.
Love towards your children (if you have any)
Not yet at the least. But there are children in my life. When their spirits are down, I provoke them. It's amazing how fast they pick themselves up and deal with the kind of issues children have to cope with. My God daughter in particular does not cry from her injuries. They always look at you before they cry. Show no sympathy for their errors.
Love towards your friends (if you have any)
Things change. Before it was about having fun, and meeting expectation as we entered manhood. Now a lot of it has to do with trust and sharing ideas that often get placed on the back burner. I want what's best for them, and in some cases, I don't wish for some of them to become powerful, cause I've seen their less appealing side when power is in their hands. That said, I do nothing to prevent any of their achievements, but I do tell them like it is.
Love towards significant others/romantic partners
Behind the scenes, I'm a doormat for them, but really until further notice. I've made some mistakes in this area. Romance is rigged to fail. Like any relationship, this one requires forgiveness and understanding for it to work. But because this one can rub the beholders ego the wrong way, I find it requires a higher degree of tolerance.
Also, how would you define love?
Simply put, it's the will to carry on. Without it, we wouldn't bother.
It comes on many levels. To so much as be fond of someone or something, is a degree of love.
I give credit to Medusa for pointing out, Love is not an emotion, it's a state of being. This correlates with my practice to love unconditionally, but it's not really for that reason I think she was correct.
Separate love from the ego, and there is no pain.
Excuse my Bible thumping. It's one of my things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable
or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the
truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass
away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass
away.
To the original poster, i have never felt love for a family member or friend, and i have no children. I have only ever loved one romantic partner before light was shed on my sociopathy.
Her name was Joanna, she was beautiful to me in everything she did. I used to think about her before I'd fall asleep every night, wishing she was there with me. She had beautiful eyes, and a beautiful smell. We dated for a while but it became apparent that the magnitude of her passion in no way reflected mine. We broke up, i was distraught.
A few years after that i forgot all the things that i loved about her, i felt nothing when i looked at her photographs. I never thought that would happen. Not long after i was diagnosed with functioning sociopathy. The interesting thing is that we got back together quite recently. Our relationship was supposed to be more serious this time round, for me that just meant we more frequently had sex. It was a very empty and emotionless relationship, the sex was good but i couldn't for the life of me recall why i ever had feelings for her. I broke up with her without saying anything.
In response to SecretAgentSmiley's above post, you are a completely asinine fantasist.
In no way is love a great universal power. It's a pattern of evolutionarily adaptive neural firings, in all likelihood to aid the survival of offspring through monogamy. Love is a pyramid whose base is comprised of irrational thinking and stupidity, with heartbreak and depression at the peak.
LOVE is just OBSESSION. Obsession that is somehow deemed less creepy than the typical kind.
Now please, stop churning out Disney princess propaganda you whore.
As I consider myself to be a recent 'made sociopath' I'll post little something aswell.
Love towards a family member.
Before, I used to love my family and I sort of appreciated them. Nowadays, as I've been abandoned by parents, I don't feel very much for the rest of my family members, I treat them as anyone else I meet, from my point of view they can either have a value or not.
Love towards your children (if you have any)
I used to contemplate creating a family when I was younger, the thought of it started diminishing and I don't really want any children at all nowadays, I see it as an unnecessary waste of time, money, resources, it's basically more responsibilities and an inability to live free of bonds.
Love towards your friends (if you have any)
I never had many friends, in fact, I never had gotten close with anyone from elementary up till today. I used to have 2 friends worth mentioning, as of now I only care for one, which I'm close with and I'm basically fond of this relationship, he's useful in another word. And hence I don't identify with the other one, he doesn't have anything to offer to our friendship, therefore I started somehow ignoring him, we saw each other only a couple of times previous year (only planned to meet him once) and I consider him the same as a stranger, or a classmate.
Love towards significant others/romantic partners
I only had been in love twice, I was in love with both girls unconditionally, something I'd consider a love of my life, sadly enough none of the relationships worked, I remained stricken and emo for the rest of my days up until the emotional part of me died (or had only gotten suppressed, think it mostly died, though). Nowadays I haven't found a girl to be able to love yet (afterall, even when I was emotional I only loved twice, so), but I don't think I can really care about them more than myself, I mostly judge girls by looks, what social status they bring to the table, sex, well pretty much how useful they can be. I do tend to look for appropriate ones, though, keeping it realistic and adequate.
Also, how would you define love?
Taking in mind my love-life is jackshit, I don't think I can objectively answer this one.
I don't really love family members. I enjoy that they're there for me, and I kinda like having them around, but the feeling of love isn't really there.
I have no children.
It depends what you count as friends. I have a lot of "friends", who I don't care about at all. They amuse me, and like my family, I enjoy their company. But I'd have no problem leaving them and never speaking to them again, apart from a few of my closest friend. I call her my closest friend, but really, she's my furthest friend, who I only know on the internet. I feel that I care for her, unlike anyone else.
I don't think I'll ever love anyone truly romantically ever again. It hurts too much, and when I let it happen, I lose control of it. And it has proved to be the number one problem in my life so far. So I may like people, and have relationships with them, but I don't know if I'll ever feel love the way I once did again.
And finally, a definition of love? I would say it is the one emotion that rules all others.
by Frosty BlueHeres the thing. It is very "VERY" important for you to have a stable non hellish mood. When you swipe emotions away as such always remember that you are at a constant stable mood and that that is a feeling just as much as the placebo effect. When you tell people love isn't real, it isn't, but only to them it is, and how they get to feel that unique feeling and perspective is extremely lucky. In other words mood and emotions no matter what demention they are is inescapable because that is what basically adds the background set to our act.
Life is very short, I unlike others like TK ect. Want to explore more reality's and experience/feel everything, even if im limited to an extent because of a PD I have the functioning capacity to experience more complex this for a short while, and thats all i need.
You and I both want to experience/feel everything we can. It would be nice. Though I can see myself being able to love as an action, not so much so as a feeling. I'd love to have the feeling, as more than just infatuation. Though I'm definitely able to love in the sense that I will be able to care for, help, build up, support, honor, respect, and spend time with people. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you aren't able to feel, but how you are as a person in your own eyes, and how you make yourself add up to what you see is what you want of yourself.