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Stress and Vacation

on 12/20/2013
Posts: 2337

Disordered people can have messy minds. I do. But sometimes I don't realize just how messy my mind gets until I'm really stressed. And I don't realize that I'm stressed, until things get really bad. But even when they get really bad, I have to ask myself; why am I freaking out? 

That's because my measurement of what constitutes as legitimate stress is so high, that in order for me to give myself permission to freak out, someone important either has to die, or I have to lose almost everything.

On a similar note- I don't know when I've injured my body, until it gets so bad I have trouble moving. I still don't take that injury serious enough because... well, because I can still move, can't I?! So then I continue to injure whatever it is, over and over, until it becomes a chronic mess!

My point is- dissociation effects more than just your brain. It causes messes in everything major part of your life. 

As the year come to an end, I find that my mind has been hanging in by a thread, and when I ask out loud: Why am I this crazy right now... a few people have to run the list off of how much I've fucked myself lately, and that I am indeed- only one person.

Vacation time is close. I will leave January 10th, out of my country, and not return until January 24th. This will be the first vacation I've had since 2007, and it is long overdue. I used to tell my friends all the time that you should take at least one vacation per year, to keep your mental health... and I guess I've forgotten just how that it. When I'm gone- my life here will be completely on hold. No job, no kids, siblings... no sw. :D

When I come back... yes it will all still be here waiting for me, but my brain will be able to handle it. Especially the disordered parts.

What do you guys do to keep your disordered mind from eating itself?

on 12/20/2013
Posts: 417
Stress and Vacation

Nice to hear about your vacation!

 

I deal with stress pretty badly too. So I know what you mean and thanks for sharing that. I guess the problem is similar to many other problems that deal with dissociation and compartmentalization. As you fittingly described it, "putting parts of yourself in a box", is not a healthy way to deal with things, as it usually results in outbursts when things finally get too rough.

 

I deal with stress in various healthy and extremely unhealthy ways. I was thinking of making a similar topic a while ago about stress but its main subject would have been slightly different. Anyway, the healthy ways I deal with stress include exercise, avoiding stressful situations (if they're avoidable and it is healthy to avoid them), talking about it (which I see you are doing), taking things one at a time and get back the feeling of control. These may or may not sometimes help me a bit. Going on vacation helps A LOT. For now, I won't mention the unhealthy ways I go about dealing with stress. I might do that later.

 

It's great that you're going on vacation. I will have my own in no time! Just take your mind off everything and give yourself some slack! Have fun! And may the force be with you.

on 12/20/2013
Posts: 7645
Stress and Vacation

 

by Silkthread

Disordered people can have messy minds.

I don't feel like my mind is messy at all. I feel like it's very logical and rational.

 

What do you guys do to keep your disordered mind from eating itself?

I've never had that experience.

I'm calm 99% of the time (apart from anger). I rarely stress.

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 471
Stress and Vacation

putting parts of ur self in a box is very un healthy and down right insane

 

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 28
Stress and Vacation

gr8 advice there man

so im wondering if u would like to becom more "whole" again?

/ur greatest fan

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 10218
Stress and Vacation

"That's because my measurement of what constitutes as legitimate stress is so high, that in order for me to give myself permission to freak out, someone important either has to die, or I have to lose almost everything."

Permission?


"What do you guys do to keep your disordered mind from eating itself?"

Keeping it busy seems to help me anyway. It's when it's been idle for too long that it has the ability to mess things up.


Glad to hear you're going on a vacation. I'd myself forgotten how relaxing they can be before the one I took not too long ago.

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 300
Stress and Vacation

I am not saying this in a negative way, Silk, But do you have OCPD?

It is different than OCD. This is the personality disorder. I have it and I am a super control freak and very tough on myself. I hold it all together too. I give myself permission to crack.

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 2337
Stress and Vacation

Does the word "permission" need clarification for you, Turn?

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 2337
Stress and Vacation

Thank you for sharing Legga.

on 12/21/2013
Posts: 2337
Stress and Vacation

Yes Thrill, we all know what a total machine you are. 

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