Dear Turncoat: Thanks again for your constructive comments as always. If I set up an online conflict resolution team, for religious and political policies, I would hire you! To pick apart the ball of twine, and get all the knots loosened and untangled that are wrapped tight
Yours truly, Emily
by TurncoatE1. But Turncoat, if we don't resolve WHY they are misperceiving me (ie mistrust of my intentions) then EVERYTHING they look at is seen through that biased lens. That is what I was trying to resolve. otherwise EVERYTHING i do is still suspect.
I WAS posting thoughtful replies on that thread, and they STILL insisted on complaining about other things. so it wasn't resolved.
NO AMOUNT OF PROOF on my part is going to change whatever is causing them to project on their side. so it kept coming up!
T1. It's how you respond to the accusations that show who you are to the rest of us. The best way to prove an accusation wrong is through example. If it's true and that's not a problem for you, then not wearing that fact on you as a if it were a weakness is the other way to go. Making a big deal out of it only serves to make you look worse, and play right into their hands.
T2. The accusation though surfaces from you trying to make this place "better", referring to the state it's in as if it's something filthy. Many of the things you call problems people here enjoy, myself included.E2. No, sorry this was not clear. I believe in taking each person's objections individually. Not taking one person's likes or dislikes and "imposing" that on others. I NEVER said anything here was "filthy". I enjoy the same things, but don't enjoy when other people DON'T like problems that could have been prevented without imposing on anyone.
There are some problems that EVERYONE agrees could be fixed.
For example, using PM to resolve conflicts directly between people, like TK and Damaged, or me and TK, would keep this out of public threads and would likely increase the chances of effective resolution.
T3.
Not everyone wants resolution Emily. To seek it with those who don't want it only serves to hurt your own credibility. Those who do take you seriously ought to be enough.E3. As long as they verbalize the conflicts they have, I consider that an expression of wanting something to change or be corrected. Duh.
T4.
Acting out only strengthens any cause that aims to tarnish your character.E4. Notice I was specific, I stated exactly what the points were and tried to explain and correct. So even that is considered acting out? Really?
T5.
Someone's word here only has as much weight as you and others give it. Having your behavior prove them right only grants them more credibility.E5. Actually I was equally hoping to prove people wrong who assume TK is too stupid to reasoned with. I believe resolving this will end equal misperceptions underestimating both my intent and her ability to reason. Whatever causes misperceptions of her is similar or related.
T6. It's statements like these that feed trolls ammunition. The fact you take this so seriously pegs you as vulnerable.E6. I see nothing wrong with sticking to the truth and correcting falsehood. If the same openness to truth makes one vulnerable, it also enables people to receive greater understanding I'll take any day!
T7. Still doesn't excuse your aim to say where content goes, how it's displayed, and how people ought to behave. We're not all you.E7. Like you said, we all have free speech. I can make suggestions day and night, like anyone else can. What difference does it make since I am not in charge? And yes we all have different ideas. That's why I trust people to say theirs, and trust Luna to listen to all of them.
And I am not all you either. So just because Ana/TK interpret what I am doing as having negative intent, or you would seek it as weakness, does NOT mean that is me, because I am NOT you.
This is what I mean by projection. I was NOT trying to impose any "one way of order or calling things bad" I was actually LISTENING to all these objections, and trying to help with ideas to AVOID those things in ways that people AGREED solve the problem WITHOUT causing new problems. I was making suggestions out of free speech like anyone else. So if others are trying to control things, that is them.
It is not fair to misjudge me just because that's what 'other people' do.
When like you said, we are not like each other. but my intentions were constantly misjudged and mistaken for motives of OTHER PEOPLE.
Until that mistrust is resolved, no matter what I do, it will be viewed from that lens. once people have a bias "they haven't forgiven", they project it on everything else said and done. at some point it needs to be corrected at the source. Thanks for your efforts to look deeper.