Snort it until you shake. When you start shaking, it will be clear what to do next.
I have the main urge towards my father because of his immaturity in using guilt manipulation tactics towards us when it only works on my mother, but I know that it is my father that I focus on and my mother that I would not harm. It really is a disappointment at how hard it would be for certain people like ourselves to carry through with such actions and have them justified by others and see our own point of view, it really is a shame.