why do you want to live? Has anyone here ever been close to death, if so why?
I just go by instinct. After all, if it was wrong following it it won't matter in the long run....
Been close to death, yup. Oddly enough I really didn't get it, didn't think I was that bad off. Doctors said it was weird that I was even awake. So I don't know how it feels to actually know you are close to death.
I've looked down the barrel of a gun a number of times in my life, but I don't really classify that as being close to death. And one of my ex's tried to strangle me to death, but since I stopped him by fighting back, I don't really classify that as being close to death either.
I think the closest I came to death was when my appendix burst. I was 14 or 15. I can't remember. My mother was managing a motel at the time and she was paying me to clean the rooms. I had just finished cleaning a room and was heading to the next one, when everything suddenly turned white (I'm assuming my eyes had rolled back), I collapsed on the ground and passed out.
Before I passed out I heard my mother yell out my name, then she must have called an ambulance because the next thing I remember was being transported to the hospital in the back of it. When we got to the hospital, they gave me something that put me off to sleep and rushed me into surgery. So, I am assuming that was a life-threatening situation, or maybe it was just a situation that could have lead to more complications if it wasn't fixed straight away.
As for your first question... I want to live because I enjoy living. I wouldn't say I'm 'happy' to be alive though, because I don't feel happiness very often, but I am content with life for the most part. While I have experienced a lot in my life, there is still a lot more I would like to see and do before I die.
I believe life is a gift and, while I know I'm a hypocrite because I have a desire to take other people's lives, I do value my own life very highly.
I had a rare blood disorder a number of years ago and my blood stopped clotting. My body covered in bruises, even my gums bled and I had tiny bleeds all over my arms, chest and legs. The docs said that if I had bump or knocked myself at the time I would have bled internally and died quickly.
That's about the closest I have been! In terms of why I want to live I would say surely living is more interesting than being dead. Yes there is that moment of actually dying which I imagine would be one hell of an experience but after that what! I guess I just find living more interesting.
Because of the guilt over what would happen if my bestfriend came over and saw my brain matter splattered across the bathroom wall. He's been through enough. And because due to scheduling my dog could potentially starve to death before my body was found.
This is a literal reason. I am not sure of my purpose in life. Once I realize it then that will be my reason to live.
I live simply because I know it will cause my family great pain, and I don't want them to feel that. I don't feel anything when I picture my mom crying for me, but I'm aware that she would be feeling something. She's one of the few genuinely "good" people in this world, and we do need some of them. I wouldn't want to break her or others that may mourn.
Often, I feel like there's no real point in life and it's just sorta some "neverending" (Obviously it isn't neverending, but it feels this way because.. well.. our lives haven't ended yet), boring, repetitive thing that we just do. We live just for the point of living, nothing else. We're all just sorta... here.