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Self control


Posts: 10

I find myself having a hard time keeping my impulses in check. I feel like I have an answer to any problem people can come up with, except for my own. Anyone else having this problem? If not, how do you control yourself?

Posts: 1081
Self control

First decide which conflicts in life most affect you. Like any mommy or family issues affecting your communication with others. Or daddy issues/control issues from your parents or their past affect your relationship with authority figures or romantic partners.

As you commit to forgive, let go or work past these issues (ie not the same as suppressing or denying them, because that's what jams up your conscience with past garbage you project onto future relations, and prevents your mind from being complelely clear and disciplined) then you will improve your focus, response and control in perceptions and relations. You may also attract more positive productive people in your life to make progress together in mutually beneficial ways. So forgiveness/positive energy attracts more of the same; while negative thoughts and emotions waste energy and take up mental space needed for creative work.

I started with my mom and worked out the rest from there. Each person's path is different but most ppl I meet project from their pasts fairly predictably like a science. Daddy issues = control, authority issues, fear of change or control by competing influences or interests; Mommy issues = honest communication skills.

you can also read other people to see who is in denial or who is honestly working out their issues and is aware the process is mutual, not about controlling others.

one of my friends coaches people to confront their "fear, stress, anxiety" get rid of that and you can focus more creatively and effectively. I call it getting rid of fear and unforgiveness. and replacing scarcity mentality with abundance mentality. same thing, it's all this law of attraction or karma thing, you get what you give.

Posts: 10
Self control

 Very helpful emilynghiem, thank you. Bit of both in my case, but mostly mommy issues. As long as I don't see my family I almost never think of the past, I even contemplated cutting them out completely. You made me see that might not be the best answer though.

Posts: 7645
Self control

I've had some impulse control issues in the past. I've learnt from experience that I can't trust myself in certain situations. The only way I know how to maintain control is to avoid those situations, because if I don't, the next time I lose control I may end up in prison.

I've been told to take a step back and really think about what I'm doing before I do it, but it's not always that easy. When I lose control, I'm not even thinking. I just act. There's no forethought to my actions at all. At least not on a conscious level anyway.

Posts: 10
Self control

I've learned how to control myself in most situations but substance abuse is a problem for me. The one moment I find myself watching television and the next moment I'm paying a drugdealer. Sometimes I don't even remember how exactly I got there. 

Posts: 383
Self control

 Constant self awareness and discipline is the only way I've learned to cope with the problems you've described. I think we all face them. I have given myself a code to control and subdue both my demeanor and my behavior. At first it was just a way to blend in with the empaths so I could better take advantage of them, but now it has evolved into a means of keeping my life healthy and manageable.

Posts: 383
Self control

 Substance abuse is a problem you can't control on your own. There is no way to deal with it outside of a program and a well used support system.

Posts: 10218
Self control

Haven't seen you in a while.

Posts: 383
Self control

 I felt like it was time to come back home. Get my dose of warm and fuzzy's from you guys.

Posts: 10218
Self control

What were you up to during your absence from here?

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