I just noticed, reading this forum, that short for "narciscist" is "narc." Funny little irony, narciscists people who try to put us in jail for drugs.
Dearest Grandmother,
It is I, your loving grandson Timothy.
I am writing slowly , as I am aware that you can no longer read quickly.
My job in Ethiopia has gone awry, and I now find myself having to avail myself of the next departing train , and making my way homeward.
The ethiopians kept trying to chew my hands off, such as they are faint, and crazed with the pangs of hunger and deprivation.
I am rather attached to my limbs and extemities, so thus, found it all particulalrly distressing and not at all conducive to a sound work environment.
Anyhow, I digress, I hope grandfather has recovered nicely from his haemorroid operation. I know the discomfort for him at the christmas table was unsettling , and his scream of pain apon sitting on wee Tommys toy train , haunts me in my sleep still.
Embarassingly, I find myself somewhat short of funds Grandmother, as my recent stint in the houses of ill repute have taxed my savings sorely. Please wire me some more of my trust fund at your earliest convenience. In turn , I will hastily post this book of "sociopathic terminology" to you , to expedite your foray amongst the people you have taken to your bosom.
I await your reply , and my money.
Your doting grandson.
Timothy .
by LycanDearest Grandmother,
It is I, your loving grandson Timothy.
I am writing slowly , as I am aware that you can no longer read quickly.
My job in Ethiopia has gone awry, and I now find myself having to avail myself of the next departing train , and making my way homeward.
The ethiopians kept trying to chew my hands off, such as they are faint, and crazed with the pangs of hunger and deprivation.
I am rather attached to my limbs and extemities, so thus, found it all particulalrly distressing and not at all conducive to a sound work environment.
Anyhow, I digress, I hope grandfather has recovered nicely from his haemorroid operation. I know the discomfort for him at the christmas table was unsettling , and his scream of pain apon sitting on wee Tommys toy train , haunts me in my sleep still.
Embarassingly, I find myself somewhat short of funds Grandmother, as my recent stint in the houses of ill repute have taxed my savings sorely. Please wire me some more of my trust fund at your earliest convenience. In turn , I will hastily post this book of "sociopathic terminology" to you , to expedite your foray amongst the people you have taken to your bosom.
I await your reply , and my money.
Your doting grandson.
Timothy .
Dear Timmy,
Sorry to learn of your financial embarassment. Sincerely hope you retain some part of your hands. Your decision to piss away your funds on whores is not my problem. Did you forget you have already spent all your trust fund? I'm afraid you'll have to use this dilemma as a learning experience in becoming more self-reliant. However, my prayers will be with you.
Good luck, dear.
Your doting Granny,
Free Mildred
Dear Grandmother,
I find myself perplexed at your rather cold rebuttal.
As we know, it was you that spent the bulk of my trust fund on gambling, namely, the Bingo group you attend on Friday nights, and on designer Gucci coats for your cats.
Contrary to belief, I did not in fact urinate on any of the said ladies of the night. And the one that sued me for disfigurement was clearly not of sane mind.
Having now found myself stranded and penniless, I must now sell the book I bought you, and avail myself of a firm-breasted concubine for the evening, while I contemplate my new path of self-reliance.
I shall write you again soon.
Your slightly miffed grandson
Timothy.
by LycanDear Grandmother,
I find myself perplexed at your rather cold rebuttal.
As we know, it was you that spent the bulk of my trust fund on gambling, namely, the Bingo group you attend on Friday nights, and on designer Gucci coats for your cats.
Contrary to belief, I did not in fact urinate on any of the said ladies of the night. And the one that sued me for disfigurement was clearly not of sane mind.
Having now found myself stranded and penniless, I must now sell the book I bought you, and avail myself of a firm-breasted concubine for the evening, while I contemplate my new path of self-reliance.
I shall write you again soon.
Your slightly miffed grandson
Timothy.
Dear Timmy,
I think you might have trouble proving in court that I gambled your trust fund away. I have witnesses. Sorry you're miffed but you may have forgotten that your Grammy is also a sociopath. But I do appreciate you and hope you continue to enjoy your devil-may-care approach to life.
Hoping to see you return in one piece,
Love,
Milly