What, and risk losing my foot?
Nah, I instead mapped out what her psychological breakdowns are like step by step. I was trying to be nice, but it just sort of happened. She doesn't respond too well to the burden of self awareness.
Eh, I'm not really proud of it. I effectively took someone in pain and recited graphically what every stage of her descent into madness is like. By the end of it she was a bit shocked and said the description sounded like someone who ought to be put away.
It's how she responds to being in pain that has her act out like that, and she regrets her behaviors every time. Just surprised after this many times that she hadn't learned from her mistakes.
Or for that matter, that I haven't either.
Ok. You need to hear me on something. If a woman has already disrespected you to the point that she has cheated on you.. and worse, more than once... it is futile to hope for a positive outcome. The relationship is trashed. My advice would be to cut her from your life, if you haven't already. She sounds toxic and draining.
doesn't sound as though you had too much support at home then. all too often, parents use their children as a crutch..you are not a peer, you are their child, and very vulnerable before the age of 18. what changed at 18, to make them 'believe' you had insomnia? moving out? did they change toward you in any other ways at this time?
hmm..i don't know your ex, but it's entirely possible that she's a self-centred self-pitying self-indulgent hoowa.
We were on-again off-again, foolishly. She broke up after each case of it, but the fact there's an "each" in that sentence spells problems.
Gradually at the moment detaching myself from the former visual I'd built in my mind, and seeing her as something I can't believe I dealt with. She wasn't even into kinks, and had no idea what she was doing in the bedroom. It was pure nostalgia and attachment from having known her for so long, and from all the baggage we helped eachother through. Doesn't excuse it, but for some dumb reason I thought it did.
She's a terrible person to be with, but her wordplay is very tricky and mesmerizing. One of the only people who've been able to my press buttons so hard, while appearing the victim.
They were actually quite supportive, but I didn't really behave like a kid, nor did I want to be treated as one. They respected that. They set up a system of structure, with leniency, but I didn't really misbehave. They protected me when it was necisarry, but it usually wasn't (my father's my former martial arts instructor, which, when mixed with dance classes makes for strong kicks). They are very protective, I just didn't give them reasons to worry. If I were more typical they'd have behaved like typical parents, but because I wasn't they let me do my own thing until otherwise the case.
In my father's defense, he did go out of his way to be a teacher at two of my schools, and was the stay at home dad who gave me tons of attention pre-5 (post five too, but he had a job and I had school). The family still went out to movies, shows, events, I got the whole bedtime story routine, fun talks on the way to and from school, dinner table talk, all that typical stuff. On occation they even invite me now to go with them on vacations. I became more of a peer once they noticed I could actually keep up with their conversations, and it only became moreso when they began to see me as smarter than them.
They assumed the insomnia might have been me being stubborn at first, later on mostly not recognizing it because I kept quiet. When I went to college my sleep became even less common, and they wondered why what weekends I went home I'd go super-coma.
I learned much more from them through example than anything else. They imparted little lessons in subtle ways that had me not even realizing they were teaching me things. Instead of explaining things to me like I was a child, they mostly corrected my behavior when it was bad, taking the time to explain, logically, why it wasn't right. It framed my way of thinking pretty strongly.
My father's best lessons however were taught to me from private martial arts training. He's why I bothered to get a grip on what used to be anger issues, gained the ability to have sympathy, appreciate someone who is better than me at something as a resource to improve myself, and gave me the tools I needed to better myself instead of always have to rely on others for help. "Mindfulness" he called it.
He also mocapped for Tekken 2, doing winning poses and Baek's fighting moves (uncreditted, assholes). Knowing his posture and little motions he does while fighting better than anyone, it's near-identical. Fighting his moves both in a game and out was really disorienting.