It really does hurt when you jam your cock in your zipper.
Police will NOT stop beating you just because youre yelling stop.
Taxidermy is NOT an aphrodisiac.
Wild boars not only bite hard, they can kill you.
Dont chew chicken bones when youre drunk and stoned.
Music over 95 decibels WILL actually make you go deaf.
Knocking people out with a pool cue without killing them ISNT as easy as it looks on TV.
Cars DONT float for long.
Hitting people in the mouth and jaw CAN break your fingers if mistimed.
An electric fence really WILL drop you like a sack of spuds if you piss on it.
A nice pair of tits is just a nice pair of tits if it has no personality to go with it.
Always dig deep and look, for there are unexpected gifts in places you dont realise .