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What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)


Posts: 12

I don't know the protocol of this forum or if you all are sick of these types of questions. However, my story is an interesting one. The backstory is worthy of a Lifetime movie but in summary I was swept away by a guy from out of state that I met at a model casting, and I agreed to a three day getaway in a city I wanted to visit with him all on his dime. He was hot, charming, and successful (modeling was not his main job).  I won't go into the long winded details of how I know he is a sociopath, but just assume he truly is one. 


Up until the trip we spoke daily and he seemed really into me in the typical sociopathic way of love bombing. Spoke of the future and of kids almost immediately which maybe some girls would love but I was definitely a bit freaked, albeit flattered. During the trip I knew something was off with him but I dismissed it since he was perfect in every other way.

Long story short, I discovered (I'm a hell of a lot smarter than I look) that he had set up the entire casting and posed as a nonexistent photographer all with the goal of meeting me. Not sure why, as he is very attractive and outgoing and would really have no problem meeting whatever girl he pleased via the regular non-stalking way. I do not know whether he specifically targeted me or was just browsing the local models and I happened to be his favorite that responded to the casting.


I'm still alive after the trip obviously so I still do not know what his goal was. He continued to talk to me afterwards but less frequently, saying he missed me and other niceties along those lines. He wasn't the same as he was before, however. I played along for a while knowing when he was lying and toyed with him a bit near the end by calling him out on lies to see his reaction, which consisted of him lying more and then trying to be sweet afterwards. I became bored and irrititated so I  decided to call him out on the whole lie.

I emailed the fake address that I knew went to his cellphone telling him to check his fake photographer Facebook where I had sent a message letting him know I knew the truth. I was not threatening and not at all angry (I'm really not angry but am definitely disappointed that the dream wasn’t real). If anything, I am very intrigued by him and just wanted to hear his thoughts and reasonings. It’s so rare for me to be interested in a guy, and the fact he is probably sociopathic makes him even more fascinating to me than he was before the fact.  Most people are so boring to me.  He thought I was super weird, coming from a sociopath!  


Next thing I know, the profile is deleted. I haven't heard anything from him since. I am a bit confused...I thought that sociopaths always wanted to win? Wouldn’t he at least want to know how I figured it out? Would he simply accept I outsmarted him at his game and completely ignore me after being discovered? Is he waiting for time to pass before he comes back into the picture? What would you do? What is he thinking?


He was trying to get me to go on all these trips with him to Europe but I had to turn them down because of work. Is this why he appeared to lose interest after our weekend getaway? Because I wasn’t easily manipulated into doing what he wanted?  I mean, I totally would have if I could have gotten off of work and I assume he knew I was telling the truth about it. 


Honestly, I am not looking for a relationship. I am done with them. I was willing to make an exception because I thought he was special but even knowing what I know about him I'd be willing to agree to a mutually exploitative situation where I join him on trips and have (mind-blowing) sex with him while I provide his arm candy or whatever the fuck he was hoping to achieve with me.

 

 

Since his image would benefit by me being “with him” I can only assume that was his goal, OR this is a game he plays weekly when he’s traveling the country (but then why push to get me to take a month sabbatical to join him on all these trips?).


I am done with emotional bullshit that just annoys me. I am not a sociopath, but I could definitely get along with one. I despise those whose functionality is based off of irrational emotion, as I am a very logical and rational person myself. Exes have often accused me of being cold and emotionless, but I don’t start out that way until they lose their appeal to me after a few major mishaps on their part. I am very empathetic and caring to those I find deserving but they are few. In the brief time we spent together this sociopathic man treated me better than all of those who supposedly “loved me” in past relationships. I’m willing to take that trade even though I know his feelings wouldn’t be real. It would still be a step up than the losers I’ve dealt with.


Did I blow it with him by calling him out? I know he loves challenges...wouldn't I now be the ultimate challenge since I know what he is?  Would you ever be interested in a agreement like mine or would it take the fun out of it? What are your recommendations and explanations of the situation from his point of view?

Posts: 10218
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

So... you're disappointed that he blew you off?

How do you know he's a Sociopath exactly?

Posts: 12
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

 I'm disappointed he disappeared after I called him out on the entire set up. He never blew me off in the normal sense. I am also disappointed his entire persona wasn't real. I expected him to at least ask me how I figured out the entire lie behind him meeting me, but nothing. If he wasn’t a sociopath I would think he would jump at the chance to give some sort of excuse for this whole thing even if it was bullshit versus letting me think he is a fucking sociopath.


It's really hard to explain how I know he's a sociopath. He fits the descriptions flawlessly. He has the stare, the power and success, the manipulation, lying, charisma, etc etc. He purposely avoided looking at me, but once I caught him staring at me when he was basically hiding behind a glass window in a building when he was supposed to be coming back from the bathroom and it sent chills down my spine. It was so bizarre, I have no way of explaining, and he didn't say anything about it so I just laughed it off. It was one of those things I just dismissed because I couldn't explain why he would do that, it was beyond just "joking around".


He asked me the weirdest questions...I really don't know how to describe it. He once asked if it felt hard for me to end a relationship with somebody I was talking about that I wasn't that into. I was like, "umm...no...I wasn't into him and it was brief..." He avoided talking about certain things about himself and when he couldn't get out of it it was like he didn't know HOW to describe his feelings for something or someone. For example, he didn't care about ending things with an ex who cheated on him because he just didn't care about that or her. Then (summarizing) he asked if that was something I thought he should have cared about.


Impossible to explain, you had to be there. Just assume I'm right that he's a sociopath. I don’t know if there are different levels or what, but it seems like he is at least trying to be normal but doesn’t know how. That doesn’t explain the whole set up with meeting me though…it’s all so confusing.   Would you spend 1,000's of dollars to just fuck with somebody?

Posts: 2337
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

 He has the stare? lol Just that one lil tidbit gives more of an impression about your personality type than his.

Posts: 7645
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

Assuming your whole post isn't a bunch of bullshit, the fact that the guy had to set up a fake casting set and pose as a photographer just to meet you tells me that he's very insecure in himself.

He doesn't sound like a sociopath at all. He just sounds like an idiot who lacks self confidence. The fact that you caught him out so easy also means his intelligence is somewhat lacking.

I also get the impression he's stalking you.

Posts: 2358
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

 Thrill Kill gives the most accurate appraisal.

Posts: 12
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

 This is getting off topic.

Assuming he IS a sociopath, what would you say is going through his mind at being caught in his game and what should I expect next (keep in mind I was completely calm and not threatening about it)? Will he just disappear? Should I be worried about him being pissed about this? Or will he just be indifferent and move on to the next girl? 

Posts: 12
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

 

by Silkthread

 He has the stare? lol Just that one lil tidbit gives more of an impression about your personality type than his.

 Umm...why? Me saying I caught him staring at me like I was piece of meat says something about my personality type?  Right, because hiding behind a glass wall watching somebody with a look on your face like you want to eat them is totally normal. 

Posts: 2358
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

 How much of a threat do you pose?  Your word against his?  Place some cost benefit analysis and you will come to the best assessment.  Me, I would prepare for possible retaliation of some sort, and just go on.  His poor skills may have him come back, after failing elsewhere.  Perhaps you were practice.

Posts: 7645
What to expect next after outsmarting a sociopath (long)

If he is stalking you, and it sounds to me like he is, he could potentially become violent if you continue to reject him. But if he is lacking in as much self-confidence as I suspect he is, he may just move on.

I'm certain he's not a sociopath. If he were, he wouldn't be hiding behind some building staring at you from a distace. Unless he's preying on you.

I really don't think he views you as prey.

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