The rape fantasies started sometime after the murder fantasies.
I began having homicidal thoughts from a very young age, but I didn't add rape to my fantasies until I was in my late teens/early 20's. Rape and torture were only intergrated to enhance the pleasure of the fantasy.
by Thrill KillYes. I'm either the rapist or watching another woman being raped by a man who, in the fantasy, is my partner-in-crime.
I think some seemingly normal women have had these thoughts (thinking of things a couple of friends told me about, back in younger days). Have you read Reage's Story of O? (the book is good; the movie is junk).
Also, were you the victim of any sexual abuse (that you recall) in your childhood?
I experience compulsive urges to kill.
I don't have them to feel superior. Though, I do have a god complex. I experience them mainly because I feel a build up of aggression at times and there is this intense need to release it on someone. Not on just anyone though. Only on those who appeal to me sexually and those I view as inferior objects, like whores and anyone I consider weak.