I'm not even going to try to read that.
let me-a Ixpleeen sumeteeheng tuy uoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 LOLOLLLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 I MFRUM ZEE OOD SCHUUL, YUO00 UNDERSTUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 i"ll treet yuoo reeghr comme 2 my ftp!!!!!!1~ zEER-A eEENMT JNUThEEnG 1N TEHEZ VURLD 1 \/UOOOLDN"T DU FUR YUOO, BEBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ lololololololololo YUOO KNOIO VHET I"M SEYEENG!?!?!???!??!??!?!?
vhee yuoo unD 1 gu oooot tu iet,, i'm gu||na po0ll oooot Yuoro cheur fu ryUoo tu se3t doon lolololololol!!!!!!!!!!~ ololololololololo~~ th3es is a clessdY muneoofar tyhet meuns i respecrt yuoo und knoo hoo tu tr3et yuoo reeght.. und dooreeng oooro deenner tugezear iim gunna b-a \/heseParing 1n yuoor eir a sveet streem ooff cumoleementS reerdeejg yuooro ixqoo3esioet-a beooty~~ "b3by," i77 sey, yuoro kl3epz ere-a leeke-a a lo0sceeuo0z, Red 0oceun ooff desure-a!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ und my leeps ve37l be-a le3ke-a bute upun tEht 0ceun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ und uny 0ozear f4reeety ooff cumpleeeMent!!!!!!!!!!!1
UNDF VVHEE IT CUMES DOON TU M3JKEENG UFE-A, IM GUWEENG TuT UO0CH UYOOT BUDY LEEKE-A I'S ||EFFER BEEEE TU0OCHED BEFFURE-A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ BEELL RWEMUFE-A MYU HET UPUN YU0RO REQOO3ST, B3OCOSE-A TEHT IS ZE3 REEHRT THHEENG RTU DU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ i veell be-a reme/\/\bered es zee best lufar in yuoor leeffe-a, beCoose-a i treeet my lufar rweeght,, und Vhee im mekreeng 7ufre-A tu yuoo, i veell sey, "oouh, sooger!!!!!!!!!!!111~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ . haX0r the plann3t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ yeeh OLOLOLOLOLLOLOLL!!!!!!!!!!111~ OLOLOLOLOLOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 /// . YPOU SUC KBECUZ UR LAME MMM!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ mmm-mmm LOLOOLOLOLOLOL.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ demn !!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ lololo.. !!!!!!!!1 OLOOLOLOLOLOL~ "
'YUO ARE- AMMEENE-A," I VEELL SEYV EET A VERM ASMeELE-A!!!!!111~~~ zen i v3e7;l Orob yuoro fgeet fur seferel huoors in frunt o0ff zre fur3-4 vheele-a ve-4 leestee tu keeet Sv3eT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
vhee \/e-a gu tu zee perk, 1 \/eell vheesper tu yuoo, my sveet bedbu, yuOre oiyes ere-a leEke-a pEerlzu Nd yuoro heur is lweke-a muun bE3ms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 i vwell CereSs yu0or hund UND I VEELL ZEWEN GETOON MY KNEEZ IN FRUNT OOFF ZE3 PSRK BENCH UND SEY TU YUOO, 'I eM YYUOR0 MUN... olol I VUOOLD DU UNYTHEENg FUR YUOO, BBEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ U NyTEHENG ET ELL,,, i cve37l zeen preasent yiuo oveet a b3ooteeff0o ldeeemund!!!!!!!!~~~ TEHES IS HOO YUOO VEELLL bE-A TREETEd, BCEPOSE--4 YUOO EReA- YM SPECEEEL OONE-A UND OONLY!!!!!!!!~~~ lollo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
beby, yuoo luuk su guud reeght no0, i vumnna get fgreeky \/eet yuoo reeGht hare-a oon Thewes terble-a~~ oone-a nweght, yuoo und i \/weell teke-a a U/\/\unnteec re3de-a 1n A hUrsE-a uNd cerreeege-a thrupoogh t0on... tweht vc3ell be-a ez3 neeght i veell pruffesz my luf-ea tu yuoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ "bebby, yyuoo fut tu me-a meene-4â€â€furefer oin my leefffe-a," i VeelL seuy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 ZEEN I VEELL7 REK3-A YUOO HUME-A UND FDEED OOYDTERZ TU YUO BY CUNLDELEEGHT, MJY SVEET CHUCUL3tE-A POODdE3NG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ io veell du theEz ell ne3ght lu||g!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ LOLLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! E77 N3EGHT LUNGF~
uyoo und i v3ell tEke-q a boobl3-4 bet, un di ve3ll roob yuo0 frum h3ed tu tu3-4, ifary muf3a- sloo u||d suphEesrt1cetEd I \/EELL IFeER MUFE-A NY REENG FuR ZEE IFENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 VE-A VEELLL Dr3ENK ChEMPENE-A In ZEE BET TOOB UNTE3L DEVN, UND I VEELL SEENG TU YUOO, YUOO ERe-A ZEE oONLY OONE-A IN MY L;EEFF3-A / YUOO ARE-A ZEE 0ON3-AQ I DRE3M OFF / MY HEERTT, MY SDUOLO, MMY LEWEEFFE-A IS YUORPS ODNT RIP3 ME OFFc ause you are lame. '
i vuoold du unytehernfg fur yuoo... i velel orob yuoro budy v3et iXuteec ooeez!!!!!!!111~~ 1 tRe3t my bebyredeght!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
brok brok brok~~~~ LOLOLLOLOLOL
Here's the original:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ill-treat-you-right,16558/
Who are these Swedish guys? Yall are starting to make me think of this:
I am Swedish Chef.
Ooor Fezeer in heefee,
hellooed be-a yuoor neme-a.
Yuoor Keengdum cume-a,
yuoor veell be-a dune-a,
oon iert es in heefee
Geefe-a us tudey oooor deeely breed. Bork bork bork!
Furgeefe-a us oooor seens,
es ve-a furgeefe-a thuse-a vhu seen egeeenst us. Um gesh dee bork, bork!
Leed us nut intu tempteshun,
boot deleefer us frum ifeel.
Fur zee keengdum,
zee pooer und zee glury ere-a yuoors. Um gesh dee bork, bork!
Noo und fur ifer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!
Emee.