So I finally got around to reading this properly.
You focus a lot on the expressions of your partner. From this I can gather that her perception of you is important. And while you remain hedonistically focused on your own pleasure, you are very eager to please... :)
Your story came out "soft" because there is a desire for intimacy behind the pain you crave from a woman's hand. Your fantasies are "hard core" only insofar that you are a real sexual masochist. You really need the pain to get off, and this comes across very clearly in your fantasy (It's also fucking hot. Find someone who will appreciate it properly. :P) But you are also a very sensual person, who's well attuned to his environment, and his partner.
May I ask you if you remember how and when you first realized you’re a paraphilic?
I particularly enjoyed this little tidbit...
"To signal me to speed up, she bites into my forearm, causing my elbow to buckle a bit as I wince pleasurably. Struck motionless from the pain, throbbing inside of her, she unclenches her teeth from my arm. A sudden rush of heat from regaining myself afterward causes me to thrust quickly and recklessly..."
You write well, Turncoat. Thanks for sharing.
...I'll cyber the women too, "Chana". ;)
I doubt he'd care very much... other, perhaps, than to want to give me a good spanking. XD
He knows me. He also knows that this sort of thing is just a game, a bit like watching porn might be for him.... Most unlike your alleged situation, our relationship is based on deep mutual respect and trust, within clearly defined boundaries. I have transgressed none of those.
Who knows? He may even read it. He knows I post here, and I know I would check up on him.