Sociopath Community

 Funny. I just did this the other way around. I've stopped openly being hostile and telling people they are stupid, becasue it takes too much energy to deal with the aftermath. I've been doing this for about two years. I'm glad I did. The cost of being "myself" was higher than faking it. Being totally honest is overrated.

I don't think I could manage being totally honest, I'm still human. And a very dishonest one at that. I can never change that without having to face the consequences of my actions, and that is something I simply will not do without a reason.
I'm just fed up with the responses I usually forge, since I allready know where that leads me. So I figured it's time to make a "new" me, something else to explore within the boundaries of my mind to keep me from getting too bored with life. Something closer to my essence.

 There is a middle ground, and it starts with the letter H.

 Stupidity is an infinite resource,
that never drains,
never changes.
ItÂ’s all around us,
itÂ’s like the air,
except itÂ’s not invisible nor life depending.

Stupidity began long time ago
and it developed into some sort of deity.
Nowadays, it has a great number of followers
and evidence of its praising
is found anytime,
and everywhere , in all shapes and forms.

The most disturbing aspect of stupidity
is the fact it does not seem to have a cure.
Once you received it, inside of you
it will stick to you, until you die.
It spreads its tentacles
and suffocates the brain,
thus, turning you into somewhat of a robotized corpse.

Stupidity is cruel,
it doesn't know the meaning of mercy,

and everyone could be a potential prey.
ItÂ’s free monster that walks among us,
eating minds and killing truths.

 Hell?

 You have no imagination, Lucy.

But that works.

 So you've decided to stop pretending to be nice and openly become a bastard? I agree with Lucifer, that seems very counter productive. And messy.

 And I don't mean messy in the good bodily fluids kind of way. I mean messy in the tiring sense of other peoples emotions.

 How long were you wearing your mask?  What I'm getting from your post is that holding up this persona you've constructed for yourself is draining you.  If it's draining you why even keep it up?  

A friend of mine recently took interest in this area of psychology and realized the same lack of authenticity.  The feeling that you are speaking and acting a certain way because it's what others do.  He admitted that he has felt this way since birth and the mask has become a part of him.  He can no longer remove it any more than you can remove your own face.

My point is, if you are able to obtain such a feat, I would say go for it.  Perhaps "you" being "you" is the best thing for you.