i want a god that shows his love by perhaps not giving me cancer.
Whatever. Im not religious- and I'm not sure I know what you think I'm full of shit about. My belief in God? The incident I described... ? It is documented in the comments section, somewhere.
Life is temporal, beautiful and cruel. Rather than deify myself, I have chosen to cling to a naive sense of child-like wonder, and hope in something greater than myself.
Disease, corruption and death are necessary and natural components of the life cycle on earth. Jesus showed himself to be master over these things. He conquered death. Either you believe that, or you don't. Bear in mind that Jesus was a historical figure, who walked on earth, and shared very profoundly beautiful, pragmatic teachings.
If there is even a glimmer of hope that the Biblical narrative is true, then I want to have a share in the inheritence he promises to believers. Christianity is the only religion where salvation is imparted purely by faith. We can do nothing to earn our way in paradise, for all are equally corrupt. Death is the great leveller. Faith as a grain of mustard is all that's required.
I'd prefer to hedge my bets.