I would almost rather die than tell the people in my life about this. I'm getting a little skeeved out just typing this. Once I drop the S word, nobody is going to hear anything else. The years I've spent building a reason-based moral and ethical framework to operate within, the painstaking study of human behavior, the fact that, by my actions, I'm a more moral and decent human being than most any random jackoff you meet on the street; none of that will mean a damned thing. I might as well confess to being a pedophile or a date rapist.
Friends? Gone. Between media portrayals and our very alienness, nobody wants to be buddies with someone like me. Job? Holy eff. I help elderly people navigate their health insurance. Two weeks ago, I helped an 89 year old woman keep from having to sell her house to pay her medical bills. Do you think that would cut any ice if my boss knew that every reassuring word I tell my clients is me playing a character? Never mind that I'm fantastic at my job. I'd be axed before the end of business. Apparently, if you're not consumed with shame at the very idea of stealing someone's personal information, you MUST be planning to do just that. Don't even get me started on romantic relationships. My wife died years ago (medical mistake) and recently started dating again. Why I'm even bothering, I don't even know. My wife understood (or was willing to take my learned decency at face value until I proved otherwise), but she was one in a million. What are the odds that some thirtysomething divorcee with two kids is going to show the same level of understanding? It's almost enough to make a fellow start killing prostitutes (he said, facetiously).
