Shhh, your play by plays are ruining my games Father Lucifer. It's better they not analyse why I say the things I do. The best lie the devil ever told was that he didn't exist and in any case I'm just a silly troll. ;)
My mother and father were at each others throats all the time when I was a kid. He would punch holes in walls, and my mom would throw stuff at him. I wasn't really close to either of them until I (sort of) grew out my conduct disorder phase and started acting a bit less like a psycho bitch from hell.
As a teen I sort of bullied my mom. I knocked her off chairs, hit her a couple of times, and called her all manner of vitriolic names. She lost all control over me by the age of about 14, and she had kicked out my father by that time, so being able to live my life free from his violent tyranny provided me a few years in which to establish my own. (Yes, I am perfectly aware how horrid that sounds, but I am not going to mince words, here.) :P She made me see a shrink but all I ever got slapped with was a diagnosis of ODD.
I feel compelled to add something here, concerning my relationship with my mom. It is a bit of a self-indulgent purge, but it relates to the OP regarding sociopathy, parenting and children, so I will post it.
My mom always minimized the impact of abuse in our home. She pretended it didn’t exist. My dad only met her when he was about 35. By that time, he’d committed more heinous crimes than my mom could fathom. And we are talking major felonies- not minor misdemeanors. But she didn’t care about any of them. She didn’t call him on the fact that one day, my uncle came home to a man tied up to a pole in his basement. She didn’t acknowledge the armed robberies, or the
seven years he spent in prison for aggravated assault. She didn’t let any of
that deter her from clinging to him. Even when she finally kicked him out- she longed for him.
She clung to me, in the same way. I remember her once, crying on the couch, threatening to commit suicide over his being well and truly gone. I gave her shit for it, and went out to party. But she never called me on the callous, horrible way I treated her- or anyone else I was close to at the time. I was never forced to take responsibility for my shit, or experience any real consequences on account of it.
My mom essentially “enabled†my delinquent behavior. That is why she lost control over me. I modeled my behavior after my father.
Nature and nurture.
hmm, i got the impression that she was a useless narc bitch, don't feel bad for how you treated her..i'm pretty sure she was the only one who could have protected you from a grown man beating the shit out of you.
would you say they were equally responsible for 'how you turned out'?
I don't feel bad about anything in my past. And I learned to protect myself pretty fast. As early as 10 or 12, I started to hit, bite, kick and scream in protest any time he would lay a finger on me.
My dad didn't beat me chrnocially, but when he did, he really lost it. I'm lucky that my continuous, brazen provocation didn't trigger a much worse reaction in him, given his violent history. Of course, I was not privy to that information as a child. All I knew is that I would NOT allow him to bulldoze me, so I fought back any way I could.
I forgive my mom. Her mother died when she was 15, and she was left alone to care for her 3 siblings. Her father was a useless drunk who abandoned them when she passed on. I don't judge her for her lack of good parenting skills.
yes, but where was she when your father would do so? i'm guessing hiding in another room somewhere, counting her blessings that it was you, not her, who he took his rage out on. also, from what you've said, she didn't kick him out for being violent towards you, but for being unfaithful to her.