"But my perception is, in the end, all that matters to me, no? I can't disentangle myself from it however hard I try."
There's that fishbowl.
The why is key... if there is no what for, then why do you do ANYTHING other than eat, shit, fuck, and sleep? I mean ANYTHING.
(I didn't say your belief was wrong...)
EDIT: And why even eat, shit, fuck, and sleep? Why go on?