Sociopath Community

awwwwww so cyuuuuuuute

Slay said: 

I didn't lose interest in people so quickly. Would stop me from having to find new people all the time.

Is it just you losing interest in them, or is it happening back at you?

Do you ever find yourself going back to people you once knew once they feel less stale, or are they just done? If the latter, you probably enjoy the rush of meeting new people similarly to the girls people called sluts in high school. 

There's a lot of excitement when it comes to meeting new people, as your tired and true stories are still interesting and new to them and the stuff they say can have your head click differently while it's still fresh and unpredictable, but it's really draining to have it be all the time imo. I suspect it's why people with age tend to err more towards marriage and hobby clubs. 

There's no genuine drive to build a relationship with anyone outside material gain because sex with the same person more than once is not a driving force.

Do they become less interesting once you've fucked them, or is that independent of your drive? I've seen a lot of people lose interest in someone after fucking them not even because they were necessarily a bad lay, but because of having seen the vulnerable core of their partner and no longer finding the as attractive (ex: "I just can't respect someone who's slob my knob"). 

If someone was a withholding tease, would "the chase" keep you on board or demotivate you? 

Can't be bothered and when someone likes me I like to piss them off just so I can see a new side to them. 

...yeah me too, but I do it more to see their emotional ranges. 

If I've seen them at 100% rage, I can gauge all other forms of anger they express after the fact relative to it. 

So when I see people having genuine relationships were the people really enjoy and are fulfilled by each other and they have no issues being around each other for long periods of time it makes me wish I had the ability to enjoy something like that. 

What's the closest you've ever felt to someone? 

I want some advice on how I could become more interested in people if I can't bond with them?

I'd recommend bearing your soul towards said mate to try to bridge the perceived distance. Typically a relationship will be cut and dry with no complications (boring) or feel risky and vulnerable (difficult). 

Have you tried being in different roles with people? I didn't even notice that sex feels better for me when I'm subbier and being struck until later, and if I'd never had that experience I'd have thought sex was fucking boring and stale. 

In short, you may find yourself more attached if you put more of yourself out there to attach to things, otherwise experiment with ideas you've never done to see if anything comes of it. It's worked for me anyway when prior it'd felt difficult to really connect to someone beyond the active listener role. 

What holds my interest is the personal gratification from controlling their behavior and emotions towards me and when that dissipates there's nothing holding my investment in the exchange.  

Why do you think that is, and what does control mean to you? 

I for example would say I have some control freak tendencies at points, but that they come from a submissive frame of mind. 

Turncoat said: 

Slay said: 

I didn't lose interest in people so quickly. Would stop me from having to find new people all the time.

Is it just you losing interest in them, or is it happening back at you?

Do you ever find yourself going back to people you once knew once they feel less stale, or are they just done? If the latter, you probably enjoy the rush of meeting new people similarly to the girls people called sluts in high school. 

There's a lot of excitement when it comes to meeting new people, as your tired and true stories are still interesting and new to them and the stuff they say can have your head click differently while it's still fresh and unpredictable, but it's really draining to have it be all the time imo. I suspect it's why people with age tend to err more towards marriage and hobby clubs. 

 If they lose interest in me while I'm interested then I have a stronger desire to pull them back in - so it creates a little more interest. A lot of times they will lose interest once they see I'm not putting effort anymore after their initial chase to get my attention back. If I'm not interested even if they lose interest I don't care. 

Generally once I lose interest I don't get it back period. Yes there is excitement in new people and I think it's partly due to me being a shallow person and only getting validation from relationships and nothing deeper than that. 

Turncoat said: 

 

 

There's no genuine drive to build a relationship with anyone outside material gain because sex with the same person more than once is not a driving force.

Do they become less interesting once you've fucked them, or is that independent of your drive? I've seen a lot of people lose interest in someone after fucking them not even because they were necessarily a bad lay, but because of having seen the vulnerable core of their partner and no longer finding the as attractive (ex: "I just can't respect someone who's slob my knob"). 

If someone was a withholding tease, would "the chase" keep you on board or demotivate you? 

 Almost always after sex but sometimes even before sex. I don't respect women who give it to me easy and will shit-talk them in my head while I'm with them. With "the chase" it could go either way. If they're worth it I'll pursue for a little bit, if they're not it's demotivating as I have other options and no female will get me to chase them in a needy way. 

Turncoat said: 

...yeah me too, but I do it more to see their emotional ranges. 

If I've seen them at 100% rage, I can gauge all other forms of anger they express after the fact relative to it. 

 For me it's about alleviating boredom with that person and getting a kick out of the emotional manipulation. I also know getting people who care about you mad, jealous, or happy makes them more emotionally invested assuming you didn't cross the line and have them never talk to you or trust you again. 

Turncoat said: 

What's the closest you've ever felt to someone? 

 Hard to say. At times I've felt that I really like someone but I noticed that's completely in the moment and once that moment is over or they do something to irritate me those feelings go completely out the window. 

Turncoat said: 

I'd recommend bearing your soul towards said mate to try to bridge the perceived distance. Typically a relationship will be cut and dry with no complications (boring) or feel risky and vulnerable (difficult). 

Have you tried being in different roles with people? I didn't even notice that sex feels better for me when I'm subbier and being struck until later, and if I'd never had that experience I'd have thought sex was fucking boring and stale. 

In short, you may find yourself more attached if you put more of yourself out there to attach to things, otherwise experiment with ideas you've never done to see if anything comes of it. It's worked for me anyway when prior it'd felt difficult to really connect to someone beyond the active listener role. 

What holds my interest is the personal gratification from controlling their behavior and emotions towards me and when that dissipates there's nothing holding my investment in the exchange.  

Why do you think that is, and what does control mean to you? 

I for example would say I have some control freak tendencies at points, but that they come from a submissive frame of mind. 

 I suppose I could try and throw myself out there more though that's very uncharacteristic of me. It has happened before - but it garners very narcissistic feelings and makes me domineering and overly controlling. As in the prototypical guy who doesn't let his girl see her friends and is easy to slight if she doesn't behave exactly as he wants her to. Of course, I can try and strike a balance with that. But yes me becoming invested in a person would bring out a certain nastiness because I'm too narcissistic to not be annoyed by a lot of behavior. 

Maybe you’re gay or addicted to porn

i just think things need to be crazy or freaky to keep you interested 

maybe you need to get your dopamine fix from something else besides people

I would say maybe focus on maintaining friendships rather than sexual relationships to start with, and try to have friendships with women, especially women who arent easy sluts and then let sex be the cherry on top of the friendship instead of thinking sex as a conquest 

but the truth might just be that you are a rather boring person and when you let people get to know you for an extended period of time they get bored of how empty and boring you are and lose interest idk

since it seems like you rely heavily on wanting to make girls interested in you jealous of you giving sexual/romantic attention to other girls as a way of keeping then interested, and when that fails you dont know what else to do so you move on 

Slay said: 

Generally once I lose interest I don't get it back period. Yes there is excitement in new people and I think it's partly due to me being a shallow person and only getting validation from relationships and nothing deeper than that. 

Validation from relationships can be cultivated from a long term relationship though, but in your case you say it never gets to that point. 

Also: 


I think there is more to it than you merely being "a shallow person". With this as a comparative model, you seem to get distracted somewhere during Stage Two. A quote in the video from "Heather Alton": 

Heather Alton said:

It's terrifying. Yes, you get the thrill of infatuation, but the real thing, actually falling in love, is like the moment when you realize you are too drunk or stoned. You fluctuate between bliss and panic. It does eventually evens off, but it really is too intense at first.

With how much you complain about things feeling boring or that your feelings are shallow, it could be that those intense rush moments are your carrot on a stick to feel alive, like a social adrenaline junkie. 

Turncoat said: 

What's the closest you've ever felt to someone? 

Hard to say. At times I've felt that I really like someone but I noticed that's completely in the moment and once that moment is over or they do something to irritate me those feelings go completely out the window. 

---

But yes me becoming invested in a person would bring out a certain nastiness because I'm too narcissistic to not be annoyed by a lot of behavior. 

What kinds of things from them irritate you, commitment stuff or personal freedom stuff? 

 I suppose I could try and throw myself out there more though that's very uncharacteristic of me.

What's currently characteristic of you is what you're currently complaining about. 

Not saying "Fake it 'til you make it", but it's hard to say what we really want out of life if we haven't had a taste of whatever that thing is. 

It has happened before - but it garners very narcissistic feelings and makes me domineering and overly controlling.

Why do you think that is? 

In general, control freak tendencies tend to demonstrate compensation through said control over not wanting another undesirable thing to happen. 

As in the prototypical guy who doesn't let his girl see her friends and is easy to slight if she doesn't behave exactly as he wants her to. Of course, I can try and strike a balance with that.

That's typically an expression of fear or insecurity when people act like that, a case where the apparent attachment can become fear. You may just need someone who gets how people can become like that who's there to comfort specifically at that moment, which tends to come from open communication over your own feels instead of externalizing it towards others over "having caused it". It's one of the few cases where self-directing is more advisable. 

No need to try to maintain bonds. When you pull away from people most of the time they chase you. Unless its causing you problems I see no reason to change.

☪🐜😈Bossroach😈🐜☪ said: 

No need to try to maintain bonds. When you pull away from people most of the time they chase you. Unless its causing you problems I see no reason to change.

He makes it sound like the chase is exhausting to him, but struggles to either maintain interest or a sense of chill if it gets past a point.